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How to shower

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How to shower

Postby devil » Sun Apr 24, 2005 2:17 pm

How To Shower Like A Woman

Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups / leg-lifts, etc. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint enhanced conditioner. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. Rinse conditioner off hair. Shave armpits and legs. Turn off shower. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

How To Shower Like A Man

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the 'woo-woo' sound. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your ass. Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off, fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. Pee. Rinse off and get out of shower. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. Admire wiener size in mirror again. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light & fan on. Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again. Throw wet towel on bed.

If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something so very wrong with you
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Postby Beholder » Sun Apr 24, 2005 5:27 pm

lol :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


Right on the money!!!!!!!!
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Postby Marina2005 » Mon Apr 25, 2005 10:09 am

The women one is so untrue (4 me anyway!) but the male one had me laughing!
Hope theres nothing wrong with me Devil!! :?
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Postby brother » Mon Apr 25, 2005 11:12 am

tell us how you do it marina and we will tell you if there is anything wrong. :wink:
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Postby cannedmoose » Mon Apr 25, 2005 1:00 pm

brother wrote:tell us how you do it marina and we will tell you if there is anything wrong. :wink:


Easy Bro' :lol:
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Postby Marina2005 » Mon Apr 25, 2005 3:33 pm

Woo Brother!!! :oops:
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Postby brother » Mon Apr 25, 2005 3:42 pm

Only trying to be helpful marina2005 now would you like me to scrub your back girl. :wink:
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Postby ex_pat » Mon Apr 25, 2005 11:07 pm

FANTASTIC

Makes me think there must be something wrong with my girlfriend though, she struts around bollock before and after shower and tweaks her nips at me shouting something along the lines of "ooooh, boobies"

Oh, and I have caught here peeing in the shower on the odd occasion. She just giggles and offers me a GS.

Right, to set the record, I'm in no way complaining about seeing my girl naked as she is lovely looking and has some body. She is very feminine too, just maybe not when it comes to bathing.

Just curious - do other girls do these things or is it just mine?

I personally think many girls do things like this, but would deny it to the death rather than admit to it.
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Postby brother » Tue Apr 26, 2005 12:05 pm

Hey she sounds fun but then many women do not do that...ooohhh boobies bit, as for walking around naked they all do that. :lol:
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Postby cannedmoose » Tue Apr 26, 2005 3:43 pm

brother wrote:...as for walking around naked they all do that. :lol:


Gawd bless 'em :lol:
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