Cyprus-Forum.com

by sk » Sun Jun 26, 2005 9:19 pm

Helpdesk: What kind of computer do you have?

Customer: A white one.

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Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.

Helpdesk: Have you tried pushing the button?

Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.

Helpdesk: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note .."

Customer: No ... wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet..

it's still on my desk... Sorry...

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Helpdesk: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.

Customer: Your left or my left?

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Helpdesk: Good day. How may I help you?

Customer: Hello... I can't print.

Helpdesk: Would you click on 'start' for me and..

Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me!

I'm not Bill Gates dang it!

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Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print.

Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'.

I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor,

but the computer still says it can't find it...

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Customer: I have problems printing in red...

Helpdesk: Do you have a colour printer?

Customer: Aaaah..................Thank you.

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Helpdesk: What's on your monitor now ma'am?

Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket.

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Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.

Helpdesk: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?

Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.

Helpdesk: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.

Customer: Okay.

Helpdesk: Did the keyboard come with you?

Customer: Yes

Helpdesk: That means the keyboard is not plugged in.

Is there another keyboard?

Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work!

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Helpdesk: Your password is the small letter 'a' as in apple, a capital

letter 'V' as in Victor, and the number 7.

Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?

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A customer couldn't get on the Internet:

Helpdesk: Are you sure you used the right password?

Customer: Yes I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.

Helpdesk: Can you tell me what the password was?

Customer: Five stars.

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Helpdesk: What anti-virus program do you use?

Customer: Netscape.

Helpdesk: That's not an anti-virus program.

Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.

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Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has put a screensaver on my

computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears!

*******

Helpdesk: How may I help you?

Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.

Helpdesk: OK, and, what seems to be the problem?

Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address,

but how do I get the circle around it?

New Computer Problems

Last week I purchased a new computer. I ran into some difficulties while setting it up

so decided to call the customer support phone number we found in the manual.

I picked up the phone and called the number.

A man answered the phone and I explained the problem to him.

He began rattling off computer jargon. This confused me even more.

"Sir," I said politely, "Can you explain what I should do as if I were a small child?"

"Okay," the computer support guy said, "Son, could you please put your daddy on the phone?"