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Medical diagnosis...

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Medical diagnosis...

Postby cannedmoose » Sat Jul 16, 2005 11:22 pm

One day Bill complained to his friend that his elbow really hurt. His friend suggested that he go toa computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor.

"Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs $10." Bill figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After abrief pause out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed:"You have tennis elbow.Soak your arm in warm water.Avoid heavy lifting.It will be better in two weeks."

Later that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled.He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction. He went back to the drug store, located the machine, poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer again made the usual noise and printed out the following message:

"Your tap water is too hard.Get a water softener.Your dog has worms. Get him vitamins.Your daughter is using cocaine.Put her in a rehabilitation clinic.Your wife is pregnant with twin girls.They aren't yours.Get a lawyer.And if you don't stop jerking off, your tennis elbow will never get better."
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Postby city » Sat Jul 16, 2005 11:36 pm

:D :D :D Nice one.

BUT, where are you getting them from. I knew all of them. Sorry.
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Postby demetriou_74 » Sun Jul 17, 2005 11:44 am

city wrote::D :D :D Nice one.

BUT, where are you getting them from. I knew all of them. Sorry.


SOUNDS LIKE ONE FROM FHM WHICH ARE SAD TO SAY OLD
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Postby cannedmoose » Sun Jul 17, 2005 11:45 am

demetriou_74 wrote:
city wrote::D :D :D Nice one.

BUT, where are you getting them from. I knew all of them. Sorry.


SOUNDS LIKE ONE FROM FHM WHICH ARE SAD TO SAY OLD


City obviously reads FHM... always knew she was that kind of gal :wink: :D
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Postby city » Sun Jul 17, 2005 1:04 pm

:-) To be honest, I'm not even sure if FHM is published here in Germany.
For the record: I do not read it, but there might be enough other germans who do so and the jokes just spreading faster here.....
(given that the jokes are the same in the german version of FHM) :-)
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Postby brother » Mon Jul 18, 2005 11:57 am

:lol: :lol: :lol:
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Postby Marina2005 » Mon Jul 18, 2005 1:19 pm

Nice one Moosey :lol:
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