The Best Cyprus Community

Skip to content


JEWISH GENIE

We all need a good laugh.

JEWISH GENIE

Postby CBBB » Sat May 07, 2011 11:34 am

adabizm had spent many days crossing the desert without finding a source of water.

It got so bad that his camel died of thirst.

He crawled through the sands, certain that he was breathing his last breath, when suddenly, he saw a shiny object sticking out of the sand several yards ahead of him.

Slowly he crawled to the object, pulled it out of the sand and discovered that he had a Manischewitz wine bottle.

(For the ignorant amongst you - Manischewitz is a kosher wine for Jewish dietary laws)

It appeared that there may be a drop or two left in the bottle, so he unscrewed the top and out popped a genie.

BUT THIS WAS NO ORDINARY GENIE -

(of course you knew that, didn't you?)

This genie appeared to be a Hassidic Rabbi, complete with black alpaca coat, black hat, side curls and tzitzis.

'Vell kid' said the genie, 'you know how dis voiks. You got three vishes.'

'I'm not going to trust you,' says adabizim.

'There's no way I'm not going to trust a Jewish genie!'

'Vott'ya you got to lose?

Looks ta me - you're a gonner anyvay!'

adabizim thought about this for a minute and decided that the genie was right. 'Okay, I wish I were in a lush oasis, with plentiful food and drink.'

* * * * * * * P O O F * * * * * * * * *

adabizim found himself in the most beautiful oasis he had ever seen and he was surrounded with jugs of wine and platters of delicacies.

'Okee-dokee kiddo, vat's your second vish?'

'My second wish is that I were rich beyond my wildest dreams.'

* * * * * * * P O O F * * * * * * * * *

adabizim found himself surrounded by treasure chests filled with rare old coins and precious gems.

'Okay kid, you got just vone more vish. Better you should make it a good vone! Eh?'

After thinking for a few minutes, adabizim says,

'I wish that no matter where I go, beautiful women will always need and want me!'

* * * * * * * P O O F * * * * * * * * *

He was turned into a tampon.



AND THE MORAL OF THE STORY?

If you're adabizim doing business with a Jewish genie, there's going to be a string attached!
User avatar
CBBB
Leading Contributor
Leading Contributor
 
Posts: 11432
Joined: Tue May 20, 2008 1:15 pm
Location: Centre of the Universe

Postby adabizim » Sat May 07, 2011 11:53 am

God is one and ONLY.
User avatar
adabizim
Member
Member
 
Posts: 185
Joined: Tue Feb 08, 2011 6:49 pm

Postby denizaksulu » Sat May 07, 2011 11:58 am

adabizim wrote:God is one and ONLY.


You confuse him with Roy Orbison. :lol:

It reads, 'Only the Lonely'. :roll:
User avatar
denizaksulu
Forum Addict
Forum Addict
 
Posts: 36050
Joined: Thu May 10, 2007 11:04 am

Postby CBBB » Sat May 07, 2011 1:05 pm

denizaksulu wrote:
adabizim wrote:God is one and ONLY.


You confuse him with Roy Orbison. :lol:

It reads, 'Only the Lonely'. :roll:


Roy Orbison couldn't see anything either, he always wore sunglasses.
User avatar
CBBB
Leading Contributor
Leading Contributor
 
Posts: 11432
Joined: Tue May 20, 2008 1:15 pm
Location: Centre of the Universe

Postby ZoC » Sat May 07, 2011 1:32 pm

asda-biz goes into an adult entertainment shop and asks the assistant for an inflatable doll for sexy time.

"would u like a camel or goat?"

"errr, camel please."

"one hump, or two."

"errr, two humps. i'm feel really horny."

"male or female?"

"female!!! wot u think i am? a pervert?"

"christian or muslim?"

This question confused the asda.

"what's religion got to do with it? it's an inflatable camel!"

"well," explained the assistant, "u got to blow the christian one up but the muslim one blows itself up!"
User avatar
ZoC
Main Contributor
Main Contributor
 
Posts: 3280
Joined: Tue Sep 07, 2010 6:29 pm

Postby supporttheunderdog » Sun May 15, 2011 6:57 pm

Naughty.....








....but nice!
User avatar
supporttheunderdog
Main Contributor
Main Contributor
 
Posts: 8164
Joined: Thu Oct 28, 2010 3:03 pm
Location: limassol

Postby Cap » Sun May 15, 2011 9:25 pm

asda-biz


:lol:
User avatar
Cap
Main Contributor
Main Contributor
 
Posts: 6797
Joined: Mon Jun 18, 2007 12:55 pm
Location: Cypriot Empire

Postby Cap » Sun May 15, 2011 9:32 pm

adabizim wrote:God is one and ONLY.


Image
User avatar
Cap
Main Contributor
Main Contributor
 
Posts: 6797
Joined: Mon Jun 18, 2007 12:55 pm
Location: Cypriot Empire


Return to Jokes and Enigmas

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 0 guests