Cyprus-Forum.com

[Hermes]

Dear Bill,

I spend too much on this forum. Is there a cure?

[bill cobbett]

Dear Bill,

I spend too much on this forum. Is there a cure?

Oh dear! ... How to put this?

Sorry mate but it's a terminal condition with no known cure...

... but may help to know that there are others in an even worse situation... drop in on CY4+4=0 and you'll feel better.

[supporttheunderdog]

Dear Bill

My wife says I spend too much time on this forum. Is there a cure?

[bill cobbett]

Dear Bill

My wife says I spend too much time on this forum. Is there a cure?

Oh this is an easy one, dump the wife.

[Hermes]

Dear Bill,

My neighbour's wife says I spend too much time on this forum? Should I dump her?

[bill cobbett]

Dear Bill,

My neighbour's wife says I spend too much time on this forum? Should I dump her?

Yes, but give her one last good shagging and move on to Spot's wife.

[Get Real!]

CF Counselling Clinic Open

What you have is severe pressure of the pea under your scalp, caused by all the diarrhea queuing up to spew on the forum, making you believe that you’re mental health professional instead of a London cabbie.

To cure this I have passed on your details to another former sufferer, Sarris, who will soon be taking you over to the occupied territory for the only known cure…

One hot & spicy Turkish soutzouk followed by a protagonist role at a Mardi Gra, and you’ll be as good as Sarris!

[bill cobbett]

CF Counselling Clinic Open

What you have is severe pressure of the pea under your scalp, caused by all the diarrhea queuing up to spew on the forum, making you believe that you’re mental health professional instead of a London cabbie.

To cure this I have passed on your details to another former sufferer, Sarris, who will soon be taking you over to the occupied territory for the only known cure…

One hot & spicy Turkish soutzouk followed by a protagonist role at a Mardi Gra, and you’ll be as good as Sarris!

Yes, have been trying to treat the sad case of GR for some years, who exhibits a psychotic obsession and guilt complex brought on by constant and unnatural imagery of bums and willies burnt in to the mind.

The only therapy is to increase the self-flagellation and wanking to twice a day... oh and try kicking yourself in the bollocks 4 times a day, always known to work.

[ZoC]

CF Counselling Clinic Open

What you have is severe pressure of the pea under your scalp, caused by all the diarrhea queuing up to spew on the forum, making you believe that you’re mental health professional instead of a London cabbie.

To cure this I have passed on your details to another former sufferer, Sarris, who will soon be taking you over to the occupied territory for the only known cure…

One hot & spicy Turkish soutzouk followed by a protagonist role at a Mardi Gra, and you’ll be as good as Sarris!

Yes, have been trying to treat the sad case of GR for some years, who exhibits a psychotic obsession and guilt complex brought on by constant and unnatural imagery of bums and willies burnt in to the mind.

The only therapy is to increase the self-flagellation and wanking to twice a day... oh and try kicking yourself in the bollocks 4 times a day, always known to work.

yes doctor, if i might expand on the diagnosis... note the reference to "turkish soutzouk"... relating wot's clearly an alien, invading penis to a sweet, chewy delicacy enjoyed during childhood. clearly using a comfort food to mitigate the severity of the ancestral dread... ur therapy is spot on but might i also suggest a dose of piri piri suppositories to help alleviate the hot and spicy cravings.

[Hermes]

Dear Bill,

I recently visited the "TRNC" for a "massage". On my return I noticed my wallet was missing and I'd developed a strange rash.

How should I explain this to my wife?