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Trans* Tourist -- What to Expect?

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Re: Trans* Tourist -- What to Expect?

Postby dglenn » Mon Jan 21, 2013 10:51 pm

Get Real! wrote:Doesn’t that entirely depend on your level of exhibitionism?


repulsewarrior wrote:i suppose dressing very conservatively as a woman, and accompanied by your mom, you will be respected,


I may have understated a bit when I described myself as "somewhat conspicuously" transgender. My usual style in my own country is conservative skirt, boring shirt, moderate heels, ... and a beard. No, I'm not counting on that look passing unremarked elsewhere (and even here it's mostly a matter of being seen often enough that people get used to me in a neighbourhood, and bored with reacting to me, so that after that point I can go about my business there in peace -- I don't expect that trick to work in the length of time I'll be in Cyprus). More recently, there have been certain developments thanks to my finally getting tired of waiting for The Right Time and starting on hormones.

I'm not so much 'exhibitionist' as 'unashamed' -- I'm not trying to attract attention or put on a show; I'm happiest when folks get used to me and stop seeing me as strange any more. I'm just not willing to compromise on my gender identity to get that "on my own turf". (Obviously, being a guest/tourist elsewhere is different, just because I don't know how far I can push or what the pushback will be.)

So as far as I can see my choices are: dress as I do at home (most likely to cause trouble and guaranteed to upset Mom), wear boyclothes and be seen as a man with (still small but hard to overlook) breasts (that are not shaped like "moobs"), or shave and get a crash course in makeup and buy a wig (the hair on my head is starting to grow back thanks to the pills but only slowly) and worry about 'passing' (and confuse the heck out of my relatives, who I hope would get used to the change after a while).

I dunno, maybe option #2 and slouching a lot? (It'll still make swimming interesting, rather coming out of the water afterward n a wet t-shirt. And a month of feeling like I'm wearing a disguise is going to feel creepy and uncomfortable.) Option #3 is, I think, where I'm headed eventually, but it's a little scary considering how much I'd need to learn and practice in a short time -- I've never tried to 'pass' before. (And also scary because it's a change from the sort of intermediate-gender zone where I've been for so long.)

After reading the comments here so far, I'm still worried and wondering what the safest path is, but I'm a lot less nervous than I was before I asked.
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Re: Trans* Tourist -- What to Expect?

Postby dglenn » Mon Jan 21, 2013 11:10 pm

gardash wrote:
repulsewarrior wrote:...just being gay, that's a crime isn't gardash?


Yes it is, although it is being reviewed. This is a law left on the statute books by the British. Doesn't that show there IS rule of law in the North?


So ... should I worry about being hassled by the authorities if I visit the North? People like me are often assumed to be gay by folks unfamiliar with transgender (in fact we're statistically no more -- or less -- likely to be gay than cisgender (non-transgender) people, but there are these stereotypes ...). Or will there only be trouble if I do something? (Not much chance of that: I'm not attracted to men, and I'm not so oversexed that I have to hit on every cute woman I see, so no matter which gender I'm perceived as I'll behave myself.)
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Re: Trans* Tourist -- What to Expect?

Postby repulsewarrior » Mon Jan 21, 2013 11:47 pm

...general rule, know where you are going to, know where you are coming from. it is a question of risk, if you are risk intolerant, don't take the chance, or take it because you have a very good reason, otherwise it is more likely, nothing will happen, because your head seems to be screwed on straight.

...its funny that none of the brash members on this site have not commented on your beard, since according to them you'd fit right in, it is often said by the more crude that all Cypriot women have moustaches; that may be one you can look out for from people unsavoury.
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Re: Trans* Tourist -- What to Expect?

Postby GreekIslandGirl » Tue Jan 22, 2013 5:18 pm

I'm confused. If you are taking hormones and developing boobs; how can you still sport a beard?
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Re: Trans* Tourist -- What to Expect?

Postby dglenn » Tue Jan 22, 2013 9:31 pm

The hormones have made my beard grow more slowly than it used to (and possibly a little thinner as well, but that's hard to tell), but they won't entirely stop any hairs from growing that already sprouted as a result of my going through male puberty all those years ago. If I want to get rid of it permanently, I need to win the lottery and pay for electrolysis. (Similarly, the hormones won't affect my voice -- voice training or surgery can do that, but not hormones.)

Basically, some effects of hormones are not hormonally reversible, and others are. The increased muscle mass from testosterone does go away when the testosterone is replaced by estrogen (I noticed this first in my arms), but the facial hair and voice change don't. Similarly, now that they're here (however small so far), my breasts won't vanish if I stop taking the estrogen and anti-androgen -- nor do they for trans men when they start injecting testosterone. (Trans men do get the facial hair and their voices drop -- one of my friends had to re-learn all of his singing repertoire in different keys when he transitioned to male -- but need surgery to obtain a male-looking chest.) So ... for me: beard, or frequent shaving and layers of foundation, or a lottery ticket and months and months of electrolysis. Right now the beard is familiar to me and my friends, and fits the in-between gender zone I've occupied for so long, but shaving it off is a thought that crosses my mind every few weeks.
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Re: Trans* Tourist -- What to Expect?

Postby dglenn » Tue Jan 22, 2013 9:38 pm

repulsewarrior wrote:...general rule, know where you are going to, know where you are coming from. it is a question of risk, if you are risk intolerant, don't take the chance, or take it because you have a very good reason


Yes, that's the kernel of it: I can handle some risk (as I do in unfamiliar neighbourhoods in my own country), but I want to know how much risk and what kind, rather than walking in blind and being surprised (or walking into higher risk than I'm willing to face). The answers I've gotten here have been helpful, thanks. I'm a bit less nervous than I was.
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Re: Trans* Tourist -- What to Expect?

Postby repulsewarrior » Tue Jan 22, 2013 10:08 pm

...kindly dglenn, if you travel to the north remember that the regime and the Turkish Army profit from their illegal occupation through their exploitation of Cypriots, denying even their existence, framing these people as "Turkish", and all others not "Turkish". find the little cafe for refreshment, enjoy the beautiful landscape for your relaxation, avoid the private beaches, casinos and hotels, avoid establishments which profit from this Ignorance. avoid the politics; you will witness sad monuments of Greek atrocities surely, if you take an organised tour, there are two sides to every story, and thus it is strongly advised to say nothing which would imply support for or against the promoters of this 'history', it will lead to more of the same.
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Re: Trans* Tourist -- What to Expect?

Postby GreekIslandGirl » Wed Jan 23, 2013 1:27 am

dglenn wrote:The hormones have made my beard grow more slowly than it used to (and possibly a little thinner as well, but that's hard to tell), but they won't entirely stop any hairs from growing that already sprouted as a result of my going through male puberty all those years ago. If I want to get rid of it permanently, I need to win the lottery and pay for electrolysis. (Similarly, the hormones won't affect my voice -- voice training or surgery can do that, but not hormones.)

Basically, some effects of hormones are not hormonally reversible, and others are. The increased muscle mass from testosterone does go away when the testosterone is replaced by estrogen (I noticed this first in my arms), but the facial hair and voice change don't. Similarly, now that they're here (however small so far), my breasts won't vanish if I stop taking the estrogen and anti-androgen -- nor do they for trans men when they start injecting testosterone. (Trans men do get the facial hair and their voices drop -- one of my friends had to re-learn all of his singing repertoire in different keys when he transitioned to male -- but need surgery to obtain a male-looking chest.) So ... for me: beard, or frequent shaving and layers of foundation, or a lottery ticket and months and months of electrolysis. Right now the beard is familiar to me and my friends, and fits the in-between gender zone I've occupied for so long, but shaving it off is a thought that crosses my mind every few weeks.


I appreciate your candid reply. You strike me as a really intelligent person and so I'm sure you'll cope wherever you go (but avoid visiting the Turkish occupied area of Cyprus, for all sorts of reasons). Recently, there have been some really heated debates in the UK between feminists and transsexuals. I think it started with a comment on how impossibly beautiful Brazilian transsexuals have made themselves. :)

http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree ... e-observer
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Re: Trans* Tourist -- What to Expect?

Postby supporttheunderdog » Sun Jan 27, 2013 7:00 pm

our trans tourist just has to hope he /she does not get arrested by the ROC Police

Trans woman was placed in men’s holding cells - Cyprus Mail
http://www.cyprus-mail.com/cyprus/trans-woman-was-placed-men-s-holding-cells/20130125
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Re: Trans* Tourist -- What to Expect?

Postby repulsewarrior » Sun Jan 27, 2013 10:04 pm

supporttheunderdog wrote:our trans tourist just has to hope he /she does not get arrested by the ROC Police

Trans woman was placed in men’s holding cells - Cyprus Mail
http://www.cyprus-mail.com/cyprus/trans-woman-was-placed-men-s-holding-cells/20130125


stud, did you actually read the article and the comments; sounds like boredom on your part, or just trolling.
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