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Checkmate, Atheists

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Re: Checkmate, Atheists

Postby Get Real! » Tue Aug 16, 2016 11:03 pm

kurupetos wrote:I did. 8)

Welcome back, gold medalist. :mrgreen:

:lol:

It's amazing he found the time in the midst of all the celebrations to post this baby thread! 8)
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Re: Checkmate, Atheists

Postby kurupetos » Tue Aug 16, 2016 11:04 pm

Max, you sure have a lot of anger against someone you don't believe he exists! :lol: :lol: :lol:
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Re: Checkmate, Atheists

Postby mistermax » Tue Aug 16, 2016 11:07 pm

Jesus and Moses were strolling by the Red Sea, when Moses nudged Jesus and said, "Psst. Hey, Jesus, I've still got it."

Moses turned towards the Red Sea and lifted his staff on high. The angels began to sing, the gentle sea breeze turned into a raging gale, and the waters of the Red Sea were parted. Moses lowered his arms and, with a smug grin on his face, turned back to face Jesus.

Jesus scoffed. "Moses, my boy," said the Messiah, "I have still got it." And with a flourish of his robes, Jesus stepped onto the waters of the Red Sea and began to stride across without so much as a ripple.

But to Moses' amazement, halfway across the water, Jesus suddenly began to sink. He splashed into the water and began to choke and flounder as the waves tossed him around. Moses grumbled at Jesus' sillyness and parted the water once more. Moses helped Jesus back to shore, as the Saviour hacked up salt water.

When they had finally reached shore, Moses slapped a consoling hand on Jesus' shoulder and said, "Don't worry about it, Lord. Last time you tried it, you didn't have holes in your feet." :lol:



kurupetos wrote:You sure have a lot of anger against someone you don't believe he exists! :lol: :lol: :lol:



god doesnt exist, church does. :roll:
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Re: Checkmate, Atheists

Postby Get Real! » Tue Aug 16, 2016 11:08 pm

But Max is also a God… the God of mouchos!

Now he is spanking his willie so he can make the Paralympics and cleanup there too. 8)
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Re: Checkmate, Atheists

Postby kurupetos » Tue Aug 16, 2016 11:08 pm

mistermax wrote:I am not the one with 16923 posts. :roll: 8)

:? No, the difference is that I only use one username. I'm not a schizophrenic like you, max... or should I say Andros... :mrgreen:
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Re: Checkmate, Atheists

Postby mistermax » Tue Aug 16, 2016 11:20 pm

Fly in My Soup
Atheist: What's this fly doing in my soup?
Waiter: Praying.
Atheist: Very funny. I can't eat this. Take it back.
Waiter: You see? The fly's prayers were answered.
:lol:
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Re: Checkmate, Atheists

Postby mistermax » Tue Aug 16, 2016 11:27 pm

Image
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Re: Checkmate, Atheists

Postby Get Real! » Tue Aug 16, 2016 11:45 pm

Max, read about the unpardonable sin before continuing with this thread:

“Διά τούτο σας λέγω, Πάσα αμαρτία και βλασφημία θέλει συγχωρηθή εις τους ανθρώπους, η κατά του Πνεύματος όμως βλασφημία δεν θέλει συγχωρηθή εις τους ανθρώπους και όστις είπη λόγον κατά του Υιού του ανθρώπου, θέλει συγχωρηθή εις αυτόν• όστις όμως είπη κατά του Πνεύματος του Αγίου, δεν θέλει συγχωρηθή εις αυτόν ούτε εν τούτω τω αιώνι ούτε εν τω μέλλοντι.”


Matthew 12:31
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Re: Checkmate, Atheists

Postby mistermax » Wed Aug 17, 2016 8:41 am

Get Real! wrote:Max, read about the unpardonable sin before continuing with this thread:

“Διά τούτο σας λέγω, Πάσα αμαρτία και βλασφημία θέλει συγχωρηθή εις τους ανθρώπους, η κατά του Πνεύματος όμως βλασφημία δεν θέλει συγχωρηθή εις τους ανθρώπους και όστις είπη λόγον κατά του Υιού του ανθρώπου, θέλει συγχωρηθή εις αυτόν• όστις όμως είπη κατά του Πνεύματος του Αγίου, δεν θέλει συγχωρηθή εις αυτόν ούτε εν τούτω τω αιώνι ούτε εν τω μέλλοντι.”


Matthew 12:31


What do I care what some Bronze Age text says? you guys are so scared...
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Re: Checkmate, Atheists

Postby mistermax » Wed Aug 17, 2016 2:22 pm

This is a good one! :lol:


4 nuns die at the same time (maybe a bomb went off in the church, who knows how), and they're all lined up at the Pearly Gates.
St. Peter tells the first one to come up and says, "Alright, Sister, before I let you in: Tell me, have you ever touched a penis?"
The nun is a little nervous, knows better than to lie, and says: "Yes, Peter. Just once, with my pinky."
Peter says, "Alright," and lays a bowl of Holy Water down before her. "Just dip your pinky finger in here and you'll be purified, then we'll let you in."
She does, and is let in.
Peter calls up the second nun, and says, "Alright, Sister, same question: Have you ever touched a penis?"
"Well, Peter," she says, red as a beet, "Father McKenzie made me give him a handjob once-- just once!"
"Okay," Peter says, "Just wash your hands in the Holy Water and we'll let you in."
She does and is let in.
Peter is about to call up the third nun, but he notices that the fourth nun behind her is visibly shaken, pale, and really nervous. So he says, "What's the matter, Sister?"
She gestures to the third nun and says, "Well, if it's all the same to you Peter, I'd rather gargle that water before she sticks her ass in it.".

:lol: :lol: :lol:
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