DUMB DUMB DUMB.........!!!
 | DUMB DUMB DUMB.........!!! |  |
 Posted: Wed Mar 26, 2008 5:34 pm |
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| Kikapu |
| professor |
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| Joined: 16 Apr 2006 |
| Posts: 5354 |
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> Can you believe??? DUMB DUMB DUMB :A Washington, DC, airport
> ticket agent offers some examples of why our country is in trouble!
> 1. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman ask for an aisle seat so that
> her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window. (On an airplane!)
>2. I got a call from a candidate's staffer, who wanted to go to Capetown, I
> started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information, then
> she interrupted me with, "I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but
> Capetown is in Massachusetts."
> Without trying to make her look stupid, I calmly explained, "Cape Cod
> is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in South Africa "Her response - click.
>3 A senior Vermont Congressman called, furious about a Florida package we
>did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that's not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, "Don't lie to me, I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state!"
>4. I got a call from a lawmaker's wife who asked, "Is it possible to see
>England from Canada?"
> I said, "No." She said, "But they look so close on the map." (OMG,
> again!)
>5. An aide for a cabinet member once called and asked if he could rent a car
> in Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had only a 1-hour
> layover in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he
> said, "I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive
> between gates to save time." (Aghhhh)
>6. An Illinois Congresswoman called last week. She needed to know how it was
> possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 am got to Chicago at
> 8:33 am. I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but
> she couldn't understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her
> the plane went fast, and she bought that.
>7 A New York lawmaker called and asked, "Do airlines put your physical
>description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?"
> I said, "No, why do you ask?" She replied, "Well, when I checked in
> with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT), and I'm
> overweight. I think that's very rude!" After putting her on hold for a
> minute while I looked into it (I couldnt stop laughing), I came back and
> explained the city code for Fresno, CA is (FAT - Fresno Air Terminal ), and the airline was just putting a destination tag on her luggage.
>8.. A Senator's aide called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii. After
> going over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to
> California, and then take the train to Hawaii?"
>
> 9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman who asked, "How
> do I know which plane to get on?"
> I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, "I was told my
> flight number is 823, but none of thes e planes have numbers on them."
>
>10. A lady Senator called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola , Florida
>. Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?"
> I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola , Fl. On a commuter plane. She
> said, "Yeah, whatever, smarty!"
>
> 11. A senior Senator called and had a question about the documents he
> needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about
> passports, I reminded him that he needed a visa. "Oh, no I don't. I've
> been to China many times and never had to have one of those."
> I double checked, and sure enough, his stay required a Visa. When I told
> him this he said, "Look, I've been to China four times and every time
> they have accepted my American Express!"
>
>12. A New Mexico Congress woman called to make reservations, "I want to go
>from Chicago to Rhino, New York."I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said, "Are you sure that's the name of the town?" "Y es, what flights do you have?" replied the lady. After some searching, I came back with, "I'm sorry, Ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a Rhino anywhere."
The lady retorted, "Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check your map! " So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, "You don't mean Buffalo, do you?" The reply "Whatever! I knew it was a big animal." |
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| Posted: Wed Mar 26, 2008 7:24 pm |
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| skyvet |
| instructor |
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| Joined: 11 Oct 2006 |
| Posts: 307 |
| Location: Oroklini |
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| The great travelling public!! (You have to love 'em!) |
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| Posted: Wed Mar 26, 2008 8:03 pm |
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| skyvet |
| instructor |
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| Joined: 11 Oct 2006 |
| Posts: 307 |
| Location: Oroklini |
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In the good old days when I was flying executive charters, my favourite question was "do these aircraft crash very often"?
To which I always replied "No, only once normally"! |
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| Posted: Wed Mar 26, 2008 9:10 pm |
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| Kikapu |
| professor |
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| Joined: 16 Apr 2006 |
| Posts: 5354 |
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| skyvet wrote: |
In the good old days when I was flying executive charters, my favourite question was "do these aircraft crash very often"?
To which I always replied "No, only once normally"! |
Skyvet,
I have been meaning to ask you a favour a while back when you were talking about the crash of the Boeing 777 at Heathrow and the plane that run out of fuel and flew as a glider to land at a military base in the Azores. I have been in love with planes all my life and did little flying as a hobby in Cessnas, as well as spent some time in the cockpit with the pros at FedEx as a "jump seat" rider. On one of the FedEx flights, a DC-10, the first officer and the flight engineer upon permission from the captain, turned on all the panel lights on in the front and on the ceiling as in instrument test check lights. Well, it was a night flight as most FedEx flights are in the States, and the whole cockpit lit up like a Christmas tree. This was the first time I really appreciated how they earn their money. Not from the routine flights that they do day and day out, and that is plenty all by itself, but to know what to do, when one of those lights that may come on at any minute, or several of them at any time. You as a professional pilot with over 10,000 hours of flying time is what I believe you said, can you give me any emergencies that you had in your career as a pilot, or just any interesting stories from the people you have carried and special occurrences.
Thanks. |
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| Posted: Thu Mar 27, 2008 3:55 pm |
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| skyvet |
| instructor |
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| Joined: 11 Oct 2006 |
| Posts: 307 |
| Location: Oroklini |
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| Kikapu - have sent you a PM. |
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| Re: DUMB DUMB DUMB.........!!! | |
| Posted: Sat Mar 29, 2008 2:43 am |
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| webbo |
| professor |
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| Joined: 25 Sep 2006 |
| Posts: 4662 |
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| Kikapu wrote: |
> Can you believe??? DUMB DUMB DUMB :A Washington, DC, airport
> ticket agent offers some examples of why our country is in trouble!
> 1. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman ask for an aisle seat so that
> her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window. (On an airplane!)
>2. I got a call from a candidate's staffer, who wanted to go to Capetown, I
> started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information, then
> she interrupted me with, "I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but
> Capetown is in Massachusetts."
> Without trying to make her look stupid, I calmly explained, "Cape Cod
> is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in South Africa "Her response - click.
>3 A senior Vermont Congressman called, furious about a Florida package we
>did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that's not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, "Don't lie to me, I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state!"
>4. I got a call from a lawmaker's wife who asked, "Is it possible to see
>England from Canada?"
> I said, "No." She said, "But they look so close on the map." (OMG,
> again!)
>5. An aide for a cabinet member once called and asked if he could rent a car
> in Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had only a 1-hour
> layover in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he
> said, "I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive
> between gates to save time." (Aghhhh)
>6. An Illinois Congresswoman called last week. She needed to know how it was
> possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 am got to Chicago at
> 8:33 am. I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but
> she couldn't understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her
> the plane went fast, and she bought that.
>7 A New York lawmaker called and asked, "Do airlines put your physical
>description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?"
> I said, "No, why do you ask?" She replied, "Well, when I checked in
> with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT), and I'm
> overweight. I think that's very rude!" After putting her on hold for a
> minute while I looked into it (I couldnt stop laughing), I came back and
> explained the city code for Fresno, CA is (FAT - Fresno Air Terminal ), and the airline was just putting a destination tag on her luggage.
>8.. A Senator's aide called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii. After
> going over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to
> California, and then take the train to Hawaii?"
>
> 9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman who asked, "How
> do I know which plane to get on?"
> I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, "I was told my
> flight number is 823, but none of thes e planes have numbers on them."
>
>10. A lady Senator called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola , Florida
>. Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?"
> I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola , Fl. On a commuter plane. She
> said, "Yeah, whatever, smarty!"
>
> 11. A senior Senator called and had a question about the documents he
> needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about
> passports, I reminded him that he needed a visa. "Oh, no I don't. I've
> been to China many times and never had to have one of those."
> I double checked, and sure enough, his stay required a Visa. When I told
> him this he said, "Look, I've been to China four times and every time
> they have accepted my American Express!"
>
>12. A New Mexico Congress woman called to make reservations, "I want to go
>from Chicago to Rhino, New York."I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said, "Are you sure that's the name of the town?" "Y es, what flights do you have?" replied the lady. After some searching, I came back with, "I'm sorry, Ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a Rhino anywhere."
The lady retorted, "Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check your map! " So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, "You don't mean Buffalo, do you?" The reply "Whatever! I knew it was a big animal." |
Bubbles x  |
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| Posted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 7:05 am |
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| Nikitas |
| lecturer |
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| Joined: 09 Aug 2007 |
| Posts: 2643 |
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| I would love to see that train to Hawaii!!!! |
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