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Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet,
Her clothes all tattered and torn
It wasn't the spider that crept beside her, But Little Boy Blue and his horn.


Mary had a little lamb
It ran into a pylon
10,000 volts went up its ass
And turned its wool to nylon.

Jack and Jill Went up the hill
To have some hanky panky
Silly Jill forgot her pill
And now there's little Franky.

nice poems

Georgie Porgy pudding and pie.
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to play,
He kissed them too, cause he was gay.

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the kings horses and all the kings men,
said "F*ck him, He's only an egg.

One that I remember from my childhood:

Mary had a little lamb
She also had a duck
She put them on the mantelpiece
To see whether they'd ...
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fall down!

I was n't going to post these two but after Devil's ones i thought i would!!


Old Mother Hubbard
Went to the cupboard to fetch her poor dog a bone When she bent over Rover took over And gave her a bone of his own.

Little Boy Blew. Hey. He needed the money.

lol. i think the last two were the best.

but then again i do have a dirty mind

hubbard one was excellent

Ahh, nothing like Andrew Dice Clay.

Mary had a little skirt
with splits right up the sides
and every time that Mary walked
the boys could see her Thighs
Mary had another skirt
twas split right up the front
...but she didn't wear that one very often

Hey diddle, diddle,
the cat did a piddle,
all over the bedside clock,
The little dog laughed to see such fun
then died of electric shock

There was a little girl who had a little curl
Right in the middle of her forehead
When she was good,
She was very very good
And when she was bad.
She got a fur coat, jewelry, and a sports car!