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Ten commandments for newly weds

PostPosted: Tue May 24, 2005 3:48 pm
by Liza
A little tongue in cheek humour…

Number 2 and 7 are quite true!!

Commandment 1.
Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning.

Commandment 2.
If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word
you say, talk in your sleep.

Commandment 3.
Marriage is grand - and divorce is at least a 100 grand!

Commandment 4.
Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the
man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman
speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the
neighbours listen.

Commandment 5.
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of
one thing: Either the car is new or the wife is.

Commandment 6.
Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; The trouble starts
when they try to decide which one.

Commandment 7.
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about
something you say. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you
finish.

Commandment 8.
Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and
a good cook. But the law allows only one wife.

Commandment 9.
Marriage and love are purely matter of chemistry. That is why wife
treats husband like toxic waste.

Commandment 10.
A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished..

Bonus Commandment story.
A long married couple came upon a wishing well. The wife leaned over,
made a wish and threw in a penny. The husband decided to make a wish
too. But he leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned.
The wife was stunned for a moment but then smiled, "Wow! This stuff
really works!

PostPosted: Tue May 24, 2005 3:49 pm
by cannedmoose
I think no.8 is the best...

PostPosted: Tue May 24, 2005 3:49 pm
by brother
Hey this is all biased in favour of women :evil: :twisted:

PostPosted: Tue May 24, 2005 3:50 pm
by cannedmoose
That's life Bro' :lol: How's that secretary of yours? :wink:

PostPosted: Tue May 24, 2005 3:52 pm
by brother
Waiting for the hot weather on friday :wink:

PostPosted: Tue May 24, 2005 3:57 pm
by Liza
You two are hopeless!! :lol:

PostPosted: Tue May 24, 2005 4:05 pm
by cannedmoose
At least we admit it... I've seen you drooling over the UPS delivery man young Liza... :wink:

PostPosted: Tue May 24, 2005 4:14 pm
by Liza
And very fine he is too :wink:

PostPosted: Tue May 24, 2005 7:50 pm
by city
sorry, what means "drooling"? LEO dictionary is quite good but no results for this one. I can imagine what it means but can someone still translate please?

thx, city

PostPosted: Tue May 24, 2005 7:53 pm
by cannedmoose
Drooling means to have saliva dribbling from the edge of your mouth... like one of those large slobbery dogs or when you pay a trip to the dentist... :D