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My boss's lame Cricket jokes about Pommie Bastards

PostPosted: Wed May 12, 2010 3:39 am
by SKI-preo
Some of these are abit dated. Glen McGrath? bloody hell!

Q. What do Geraint Jones and Michael Jackson have in common?

A. They both wear gloves for no apparent reason



Q. What is the height of optimism?

A. An English batsman applying sunscreen.



Q. What does Ashley Giles put in his hands to make sure the next ball almost
always takes a wicket?

A. A bat.



Q. What would Glen McGrath be if he was an Englishman?

A. An all-rounder.



Q. What advantage do Kevin Pieterson, Andrew Strauss and Geraint Jones have
over the rest of their team-mates?

A. At least they can say they're not really English.



Q. What is the English version of a hat-trick?

A. Three runs in three balls.



Q. What do you call an Englishman with 100 runs against his name?

A. A bowler.



Q. What is the most proficient form of footwork displayed by English
batsmen?

A. The walk back to the pavilion.



Q. Who has the easiest job in the English squad?

A. The guy who removes the red ball marks from the bats.



Q. Why is Andrew Flintoff the unluckiest English player?

A. Because he was born in England.



Q. What does "Ashes" stand for?

A. Another Sad Horrific English Series.



Q. What's the English version of LBW?

A. Lost, Beaten, Walloped.



Q. Who spends the most time on the crease of anyone in the English team?

A. The person who ironed the cricket whites.

PostPosted: Wed May 12, 2010 3:44 am
by SKI-preo
If the Poms are batting first, tell the taxi to wait!

PostPosted: Thu May 13, 2010 9:25 am
by AWE
and who currently holds the Ashes?

PostPosted: Thu May 13, 2010 11:33 am
by apc2010
Lynn Redgraves husband???

PostPosted: Thu May 13, 2010 1:00 pm
by AWE
or the airspace of northern Europe!

PostPosted: Thu May 13, 2010 1:04 pm
by apc2010
Tripoli airport (too soon?)

PostPosted: Mon May 17, 2010 4:37 am
by SKI-preo
Q. What is the main function of the England coach?
A. To transport the team from the hotel to the ground.

PostPosted: Mon May 17, 2010 4:38 am
by SKI-preo
Q. What advantage do Nasser Hussein, Mark Ramprakash, Dean Headley, Alex Tudor and Graham Hick have over the rest of their team mates?
A. At least they can say they're not really English.

PostPosted: Mon May 17, 2010 1:06 pm
by YFred
http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/cricket/default.stm

Enjoy it boys. Where did Australia come at this 20:20 Games again.

Ausi women did well though. Perhaps they have more balls then the men down under. Know whay I mean like?

PostPosted: Mon May 17, 2010 2:18 pm
by vaughanwilliams
SKI-preo wrote:If the Poms are batting first, tell the taxi to wait!


Australia captain Michael Clarke was magnanimous in defeat.

"I don't think we scored enough runs," he said. "I think you've got to give credit to England, they outplayed us.

"I don't think we scored enough runs"....?

It doesn't fuckin' help, that's a fact.
:lol: