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Re: New Comedy

PostPosted: Sun Jun 30, 2024 10:11 am
by Kikapu
Lordo wrote:I am afraid this one is for the Terggggish speakers. Murat is equivalent to a Robin Reliant

Temel saves for years to buy a Murat
As he is returning to his town, he his car breaks down.
A Ferrari driver stops and offers him to pull him to the next garage.
He warns him that he does like to drive fast but if it is too fast just to indicate he wants to over take and he will understand.
They reach 100 km and hour and Temel indicates so Ferrari slows down.
A Lamborghini approaches the Ferrari and challenges him to a race to the nearest garage and who ever wins will fill up the other's tank.
So off they go and reach 300 km an hour. Temel indicates again to slow them down.
In a police helicopter above an observer reports back to base saying there is a Ferrari and a Lamborghini racing at dangerous speeds on the north highway and a Murat trying to over take them.



This joke is as old as I am! :lol:

Re: New Comedy

PostPosted: Sun Jun 30, 2024 4:05 pm
by Lordo
Is it? It's the first time I heard it.

Re: New Comedy

PostPosted: Mon Jul 01, 2024 7:25 am
by Kikapu
Lordo wrote:Is it? It's the first time I heard it.


There were different variations of this joke, but the main structure of the joke is the same.

The one I heard in the 70’s was a Ford Falcon that was being towed.

Not being spotted by the helicopter, but instead by a traffic cop with a radar gun, which he reports to his base that……the two sports cars are racing at very high speeds, then he states that, this is the part you are not going to believe, that the driver of the Ford Falcon is blowing his horn and flashing his lights for the sport cars to get out of the way to pass them! :lol:

All the variations of this joke are very funny.

Re: New Comedy

PostPosted: Mon Jul 01, 2024 9:13 pm
by Lordo
I bet you never heard this one Kicks.

Police raids a house of ill repute and take all the ladies to the police station.
There are so many ladies that the que goes out into the street.
As some of the ladies are outside and 80 year old ladies passing by asks what the que is for.
One of the ladies says they are giving out minty Sweets.
Finally the old lady is in front of the policeman.
He looks a bit shocked and asks why she is in the que.
She says she has no teeth left so she just likes to suck.


https://www.facebook.com/reel/349944738126036

Re: New Comedy

PostPosted: Tue Jul 02, 2024 7:59 am
by Kikapu
Lordo wrote:I bet you never heard this one Kicks.

Police raids a house of ill repute and take all the ladies to the police station.
There are so many ladies that the que goes out into the street.
As some of the ladies are outside and 80 year old ladies passing by asks what the que is for.
One of the ladies says they are giving out minty Sweets.
Finally the old lady is in front of the policeman.
He looks a bit shocked and asks why she is in the que.
She says she has no teeth left so she just likes to suck.


https://www.facebook.com/reel/349944738126036


Err, no, I have not heard this one, but heard the one where the “false” dentures are placed back in the mouth after the “act”! :wink:

Re: New Comedy

PostPosted: Tue Jul 02, 2024 11:20 am
by Lordo
Kikapu wrote:
Lordo wrote:I bet you never heard this one Kicks.

Police raids a house of ill repute and take all the ladies to the police station.
There are so many ladies that the que goes out into the street.
As some of the ladies are outside and 80 year old ladies passing by asks what the que is for.
One of the ladies says they are giving out minty Sweets.
Finally the old lady is in front of the policeman.
He looks a bit shocked and asks why she is in the que.
She says she has no teeth left so she just likes to suck.


https://www.facebook.com/reel/349944738126036


Err, no, I have not heard this one, but heard the one where the “false” dentures are placed back in the mouth after the “act”! :wink:

I have not heard that one but what about the one when the old girl had only one tooth and after the act she asks him to check again incase there is another one.

Re: New Comedy

PostPosted: Fri Jul 26, 2024 11:13 am
by Lordo
An old couple were lying in bed one night. The husband was falling asleep but the wife was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk.
She said: “You use to hold my hand when we were courting.”
Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second, and tried to get back to sleep.
A few moments later she said: “Then you use to kiss me.”
Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek, and settled down to sleep.
Thirty seconds later she said: Then you use to bite my neck”
Angrily, he threw back the bedclothes and got out of bed.
“Where are you going?” she asked.
“To get my teeth!”

Re: New Comedy

PostPosted: Sun Jul 28, 2024 10:38 pm
by Lordo

Re: New Comedy

PostPosted: Sun Jul 28, 2024 11:49 pm
by Lordo
These are all real names in the UK.

Goode
Bidgood
Toogood
Thorogood

Re: New Comedy

PostPosted: Sat Dec 14, 2024 11:31 pm
by Lordo
A graduate in Biology was having difficulty in finding a job. He saw an advert in one of the daily newspapers for a job at a zoo.

In the interview, the manager told him that their gorilla, which had been a tourists attraction has died so they needed someone to dress up and pretend as a gorilla.
The graduate was embarrassed, but since the salary was okay, he accepted the job.

The first day, he put on the gorilla skin and entered the cage, he started jumping up and down, beating his chest and roared like a gorilla.

The next day, he put on a gorilla skin and started moving around the zoo again and mistakenly entered another cage and found himself staring at a lion.
The lion roared and rushed towards him. The scared graduate quickly forgot that he is a gorilla and started shouting like a human, "Help! Help!"

The lion leaped onto him, knocked him to the ground and whispered in his ear *Dennis*, it's me Mike, your course mate."

My brother, No job in this country, In fact that crocodile in that water is not a crocodile, it is John