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What happens when wifes drag their husbands shopping

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What happens when wifes drag their husbands shopping

Postby psycho » Wed Jul 16, 2008 5:03 pm

This letter was recently sent by Tesco's Head Office to a customer in Oxford :

Dear Mrs. Murray,

While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty Card, The Manager of our store in Banbury is considering

banning you and your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics.

Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified by our surveillance cameras:


1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's trolleys when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to feminine products aisle.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares.. ... and watched what happened.

5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and told shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages

and a Calor gas stove.

7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him, he began to cry and asked, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, picked his nose, and ate it.

9. November 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the
antidepressants were.

10. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the ' Mission Impossible' theme.

11. December 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the 'Madonna look' using different size funnels.

12. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled 'PICK ME!' 'PICK ME!'

13. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, assumed the foetal position and screamed 'NO! NO!

It's those voices again.'

And; last, but not least:

14. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while; then yelled, very loudly, 'There is no toilet paper in here.'


Regards

Gareth Williams

Director
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Postby CBBB » Wed Jul 16, 2008 9:35 pm

Your wife presumably!
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Postby psycho » Wed Jul 16, 2008 10:09 pm

CBBB wrote:Your wife presumably!


No - she was testing car air conditioning units on those dates :lol: :lol:
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Re: What happens when wifes drag their husbands shopping

Postby Mills Chapman » Thu Jul 17, 2008 5:06 am

psycho wrote:This letter was recently sent by Tesco's Head Office to a customer in Oxford :

Dear Mrs. Murray,

While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty Card, The Manager of our store in Banbury is considering

banning you and your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics.

Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified by our surveillance cameras:


1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's trolleys when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to feminine products aisle.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares.. ... and watched what happened.

5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and told shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages

and a Calor gas stove.

7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him, he began to cry and asked, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, picked his nose, and ate it.

9. November 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the
antidepressants were.

10. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the ' Mission Impossible' theme.

11. December 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the 'Madonna look' using different size funnels.

12. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled 'PICK ME!' 'PICK ME!'

13. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, assumed the foetal position and screamed 'NO! NO!

It's those voices again.'

And; last, but not least:

14. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while; then yelled, very loudly, 'There is no toilet paper in here.'


Regards

Gareth Williams

Director


:)
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Re: What happens when wifes drag their husbands shopping

Postby SSBubbles » Thu Jul 17, 2008 10:37 am

Good 'un! :lol:
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Postby roseandchan » Thu Jul 17, 2008 10:55 am

my hubby just pays and moans.
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Postby BC Numismatics » Thu Jul 17, 2008 10:58 am

That joke sounds very Irish,but at least I did have a laugh.

Aidan.
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Postby tessintrnc » Thu Jul 17, 2008 11:06 am

BC Numismatics wrote:That joke sounds very Irish,but at least I did have a laugh.

Aidan.



Nadia!!!! Where have you been are you all better now?
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Postby BC Numismatics » Thu Jul 17, 2008 11:10 am

Tess,
You're still Taigish as ever! I hear that your idol that is the Pope of Rome is now visiting Australia.

Aidan.
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Postby tessintrnc » Thu Jul 17, 2008 11:20 am

BC Numismatics wrote:Tess,
You're still Taigish as ever! I hear that your idol that is the Pope of Rome is now visiting Australia.

Aidan.



I wonder if he will pop over to NZ as well? I know you will be delighted to see him!!!

PS Give him my love :wink:
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