The Best Cyprus Community

Skip to content


Ten commandments for newly weds

We all need a good laugh.

Ten commandments for newly weds

Postby Liza » Tue May 24, 2005 3:48 pm

A little tongue in cheek humour…

Number 2 and 7 are quite true!!

Commandment 1.
Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning.

Commandment 2.
If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word
you say, talk in your sleep.

Commandment 3.
Marriage is grand - and divorce is at least a 100 grand!

Commandment 4.
Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the
man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman
speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the
neighbours listen.

Commandment 5.
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of
one thing: Either the car is new or the wife is.

Commandment 6.
Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; The trouble starts
when they try to decide which one.

Commandment 7.
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about
something you say. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you
finish.

Commandment 8.
Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and
a good cook. But the law allows only one wife.

Commandment 9.
Marriage and love are purely matter of chemistry. That is why wife
treats husband like toxic waste.

Commandment 10.
A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished..

Bonus Commandment story.
A long married couple came upon a wishing well. The wife leaned over,
made a wish and threw in a penny. The husband decided to make a wish
too. But he leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned.
The wife was stunned for a moment but then smiled, "Wow! This stuff
really works!
User avatar
Liza
Contributor
Contributor
 
Posts: 640
Joined: Thu Jan 27, 2005 5:07 pm
Location: Limassol

Postby cannedmoose » Tue May 24, 2005 3:49 pm

I think no.8 is the best...
User avatar
cannedmoose
Main Contributor
Main Contributor
 
Posts: 4279
Joined: Sun Feb 29, 2004 11:06 pm
Location: England

Postby brother » Tue May 24, 2005 3:49 pm

Hey this is all biased in favour of women :evil: :twisted:
User avatar
brother
Main Contributor
Main Contributor
 
Posts: 4711
Joined: Mon Sep 27, 2004 5:30 pm
Location: Cyprus/U.K

Postby cannedmoose » Tue May 24, 2005 3:50 pm

That's life Bro' :lol: How's that secretary of yours? :wink:
User avatar
cannedmoose
Main Contributor
Main Contributor
 
Posts: 4279
Joined: Sun Feb 29, 2004 11:06 pm
Location: England

Postby brother » Tue May 24, 2005 3:52 pm

Waiting for the hot weather on friday :wink:
User avatar
brother
Main Contributor
Main Contributor
 
Posts: 4711
Joined: Mon Sep 27, 2004 5:30 pm
Location: Cyprus/U.K

Postby Liza » Tue May 24, 2005 3:57 pm

You two are hopeless!! :lol:
User avatar
Liza
Contributor
Contributor
 
Posts: 640
Joined: Thu Jan 27, 2005 5:07 pm
Location: Limassol

Postby cannedmoose » Tue May 24, 2005 4:05 pm

At least we admit it... I've seen you drooling over the UPS delivery man young Liza... :wink:
User avatar
cannedmoose
Main Contributor
Main Contributor
 
Posts: 4279
Joined: Sun Feb 29, 2004 11:06 pm
Location: England

Postby Liza » Tue May 24, 2005 4:14 pm

And very fine he is too :wink:
User avatar
Liza
Contributor
Contributor
 
Posts: 640
Joined: Thu Jan 27, 2005 5:07 pm
Location: Limassol

Postby city » Tue May 24, 2005 7:50 pm

sorry, what means "drooling"? LEO dictionary is quite good but no results for this one. I can imagine what it means but can someone still translate please?

thx, city
User avatar
city
Contributor
Contributor
 
Posts: 803
Joined: Sat Nov 13, 2004 10:45 pm
Location: Germany

Postby cannedmoose » Tue May 24, 2005 7:53 pm

Drooling means to have saliva dribbling from the edge of your mouth... like one of those large slobbery dogs or when you pay a trip to the dentist... :D
User avatar
cannedmoose
Main Contributor
Main Contributor
 
Posts: 4279
Joined: Sun Feb 29, 2004 11:06 pm
Location: England

Next

Return to Jokes and Enigmas

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 3 guests