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Friendly 'Banter'

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Friendly 'Banter'

Postby Schnauzer » Sat Feb 25, 2017 4:48 pm

'Old King Crap' is a nasty old chap
who sought to discredit his peers,
he constructed a 'Poll'
which went straight up his hole,
lob him off the rooftops with the 'Queers'.

Sorry I missed all the 'Fun', :lol:, my duties compelled me to remain out of touch with civilization for a while and, now that I am back in range, I feel obliged to join the aftermath of the disgusting attempt (by you know whom) to pour scorn upon various creditable contributors to this forum.

I cannot see any mention of a 'Coronation Ceremony' (or some such) and sincerely hope that (if there possibly be one in the offing) I might be invited to attend since I have a connection in the 'Art World' who would be delighted to design an appropriate 'Crown' for the occasion.

'Heroes' have a 'Crown of Laurels', 'Jesus Christ' a 'Crown of 'Thorns', perhaps a 'Crown of Grass' might be appropriate in this case, as 'His Majesty' has oft indicated his willingness to 'Grass Up' his mates and certainly demonstrates his ambitions in the presentation of his ridiculous 'Poll'.

Greetings to all you good folks, glad to be back for a while (I think). 8)
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Re: Friendly 'Banter'

Postby miltiades » Sat Feb 25, 2017 5:34 pm

Schnauzer wrote:'Old King Crap' is a nasty old chap
who sought to discredit his peers,
he constructed a 'Poll'
which went straight up his hole,
lob him off the rooftops with the 'Queers'.

Sorry I missed all the 'Fun', :lol:, my duties compelled me to remain out of touch with civilization for a while and, now that I am back in range, I feel obliged to join the aftermath of the disgusting attempt (by you know whom) to pour scorn upon various creditable contributors to this forum.

I cannot see any mention of a 'Coronation Ceremony' (or some such) and sincerely hope that (if there possibly be one in the offing) I might be invited to attend since I have a connection in the 'Art World' who would be delighted to design an appropriate 'Crown' for the occasion.

'Heroes' have a 'Crown of Laurels', 'Jesus Christ' a 'Crown of 'Thorns', perhaps a 'Crown of Grass' might be appropriate in this case, as 'His Majesty' has oft indicated his willingness to 'Grass Up' his mates and certainly demonstrates his ambitions in the presentation of his ridiculous 'Poll'.

Greetings to all you good folks, glad to be back for a while (I think). 8)

Here was I thinking you popped over to Syria to offer your arse to the savages !! What a fucking shame !!
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Re: Friendly 'Banter'

Postby Schnauzer » Sat Feb 25, 2017 6:00 pm

miltiades wrote:
Schnauzer wrote:'Old King Crap' is a nasty old chap
who sought to discredit his peers,
he constructed a 'Poll'
which went straight up his hole,
lob him off the rooftops with the 'Queers'.

Sorry I missed all the 'Fun', :lol:, my duties compelled me to remain out of touch with civilization for a while and, now that I am back in range, I feel obliged to join the aftermath of the disgusting attempt (by you know whom) to pour scorn upon various creditable contributors to this forum.

I cannot see any mention of a 'Coronation Ceremony' (or some such) and sincerely hope that (if there possibly be one in the offing) I might be invited to attend since I have a connection in the 'Art World' who would be delighted to design an appropriate 'Crown' for the occasion.

'Heroes' have a 'Crown of Laurels', 'Jesus Christ' a 'Crown of 'Thorns', perhaps a 'Crown of Grass' might be appropriate in this case, as 'His Majesty' has oft indicated his willingness to 'Grass Up' his mates and certainly demonstrates his ambitions in the presentation of his ridiculous 'Poll'.

Greetings to all you good folks, glad to be back for a while (I think). 8)

Here was I thinking you popped over to Syria to offer your arse to the savages !! What a fucking shame !!


Greetings to you too 'Your Majesty', so pleased to note that you are as offensive as ever, hope you enjoyed my little 'Ditty'. :lol: :lol:
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Re: Friendly 'Banter'

Postby Paphitis » Sun Feb 26, 2017 1:19 am

We have His Majesty's crown.

Image

Pegs to be issued at the door of the sewer.
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Re: Friendly 'Banter'

Postby Schnauzer » Sun Feb 26, 2017 2:06 am

Paphitis wrote:We have His Majesty's crown.

Image

Pegs to be issued at the door of the sewer.


As is written :- "Uneasy lies the head that wears a 'Crown !"

Generally, one can easily agree with the implications of such a statement BUT, the particular 'Crown' depicted in your cartoon would be bound to deprive anyone of a good night's sleep, the stench of the 'Crap' would ensure a restless night for any one of us unless, under the influence of a few bottles of 'Red Biddy' the resulting stupor might be enough to counter the smell.

I still think that a customized 'Crown of Grass' would be more fitting for THIS particular 'Majesty', perhaps we might reach a compromise and mix the two ingredients.

What do you think, is it worth raising a new 'Poll' on the subject ? 8)
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Re: Friendly 'Banter'

Postby Paphitis » Sun Feb 26, 2017 2:27 am

Schnauzer wrote:
Paphitis wrote:We have His Majesty's crown.

Image

Pegs to be issued at the door of the sewer.


As is written :- "Uneasy lies the head that wears a 'Crown !"

Generally, one can easily agree with the implications of such a statement BUT, the particular 'Crown' depicted in your cartoon would be bound to deprive anyone of a good night's sleep, the stench of the 'Crap' would ensure a restless night for any one of us unless, under the influence of a few bottles of 'Red Biddy' the resulting stupor might be enough to counter the smell.

I still think that a customized 'Crown of Grass' would be more fitting for THIS particular 'Majesty', perhaps we might reach a compromise and mix the two ingredients.

What do you think, is it worth raising a new 'Poll' on the subject ? 8)


i think the subjects should all decide with a poll. :lol:
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Re: Friendly 'Banter'

Postby Schnauzer » Sun Feb 26, 2017 8:22 am

Paphitis wrote:
Schnauzer wrote:
Paphitis wrote:We have His Majesty's crown.

Image

Pegs to be issued at the door of the sewer.


As is written :- "Uneasy lies the head that wears a 'Crown !"

Generally, one can easily agree with the implications of such a statement BUT, the particular 'Crown' depicted in your cartoon would be bound to deprive anyone of a good night's sleep, the stench of the 'Crap' would ensure a restless night for any one of us unless, under the influence of a few bottles of 'Red Biddy' the resulting stupor might be enough to counter the smell.

I still think that a customized 'Crown of Grass' would be more fitting for THIS particular 'Majesty', perhaps we might reach a compromise and mix the two ingredients.

What do you think, is it worth raising a new 'Poll' on the subject ? 8)


i think the subjects should all decide with a poll. :lol:


Meanwhile:- perhaps 'His Majesty' might raise the 'Poll' himself ?, also,it might be beneficial to him if a new 'Anthem' was composed in his honour.

In consideration of the fact that he has spent so much time (over 50 years) living among the Brits (particularly in England) and has actually become 'Anglicized' as a result of such an extensive period of residence,it might be fitting to introduce new words to the 'British National Anthem' and, with this in mind, may I propose the following two verses (subject to member's agreement of course) whilst other matters are under review ?

"God help our 'King of Crap'
can't take a decent nap
can't catch a wink,

His 'Royal Crown' of shite
keeps him awake all night
His future is not looking bright
good heavens what a stink.

His 'Red Nose' gives a clue
as to what he should do
so let us sing,

After he's read the news
bottles of cheap 'Red Booze'
might gi-ive him a chance to snooze ............(don't forget the "GI-Ive')
God help our 'King'. ............( GO-od is also helpful here)

All other suggestions quite welcome and I DO hope 'His Majesty' will be pleased with the efforts of his loyal subject. 8)
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Re: Friendly 'Banter'

Postby Paphitis » Sun Feb 26, 2017 8:59 am

Schnauzer wrote:
Paphitis wrote:
Schnauzer wrote:
Paphitis wrote:We have His Majesty's crown.

Image

Pegs to be issued at the door of the sewer.


As is written :- "Uneasy lies the head that wears a 'Crown !"

Generally, one can easily agree with the implications of such a statement BUT, the particular 'Crown' depicted in your cartoon would be bound to deprive anyone of a good night's sleep, the stench of the 'Crap' would ensure a restless night for any one of us unless, under the influence of a few bottles of 'Red Biddy' the resulting stupor might be enough to counter the smell.

I still think that a customized 'Crown of Grass' would be more fitting for THIS particular 'Majesty', perhaps we might reach a compromise and mix the two ingredients.

What do you think, is it worth raising a new 'Poll' on the subject ? 8)


i think the subjects should all decide with a poll. :lol:


Meanwhile:- perhaps 'His Majesty' might raise the 'Poll' himself ?, also,it might be beneficial to him if a new 'Anthem' was composed in his honour.

In consideration of the fact that he has spent so much time (over 50 years) living among the Brits (particularly in England) and has actually become 'Anglicized' as a result of such an extensive period of residence,it might be fitting to introduce new words to the 'British National Anthem' and, with this in mind, may I propose the following two verses (subject to member's agreement of course) whilst other matters are under review ?

"God help our 'King of Crap'
can't take a decent nap
can't catch a wink,

His 'Royal Crown' of shite
keeps him awake all night
His future is not looking bright
good heavens what a stink.

His 'Red Nose' gives a clue
as to what he should do
so let us sing,

After he's read the news
bottles of cheap 'Red Booze'
might gi-ive him a chance to snooze ............(don't forget the "GI-Ive')
God help our 'King'. ............( GO-od is also helpful here)

All other suggestions quite welcome and I DO hope 'His Majesty' will be pleased with the efforts of his loyal subject. 8)


Absolutely bueatiful and great little melody befitting His Majesty.

Every crown must also have a Royal Ensign, so i propose a new forum competition where members are able to put forward their proposal for an Ensign and then we can have a poll (Referendum) to pick the winning entrant. 8)
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Re: Friendly 'Banter'

Postby Schnauzer » Sun Feb 26, 2017 10:12 am

Paphitis wrote:
Schnauzer wrote:
Paphitis wrote:
Schnauzer wrote:
Paphitis wrote:We have His Majesty's crown.

Image

Pegs to be issued at the door of the sewer.


As is written :- "Uneasy lies the head that wears a 'Crown !"

Generally, one can easily agree with the implications of such a statement BUT, the particular 'Crown' depicted in your cartoon would be bound to deprive anyone of a good night's sleep, the stench of the 'Crap' would ensure a restless night for any one of us unless, under the influence of a few bottles of 'Red Biddy' the resulting stupor might be enough to counter the smell.

I still think that a customized 'Crown of Grass' would be more fitting for THIS particular 'Majesty', perhaps we might reach a compromise and mix the two ingredients.

What do you think, is it worth raising a new 'Poll' on the subject ? 8)


i think the subjects should all decide with a poll. :lol:


Meanwhile:- perhaps 'His Majesty' might raise the 'Poll' himself ?, also,it might be beneficial to him if a new 'Anthem' was composed in his honour.

In consideration of the fact that he has spent so much time (over 50 years) living among the Brits (particularly in England) and has actually become 'Anglicized' as a result of such an extensive period of residence,it might be fitting to introduce new words to the 'British National Anthem' and, with this in mind, may I propose the following two verses (subject to member's agreement of course) whilst other matters are under review ?

"God help our 'King of Crap'
can't take a decent nap
can't catch a wink,

His 'Royal Crown' of shite
keeps him awake all night
His future is not looking bright
good heavens what a stink.

His 'Red Nose' gives a clue
as to what he should do
so let us sing,

After he's read the news
bottles of cheap 'Red Booze'
might gi-ive him a chance to snooze ............(don't forget the "GI-Ive')
God help our 'King'. ............( GO-od is also helpful here)

All other suggestions quite welcome and I DO hope 'His Majesty' will be pleased with the efforts of his loyal subject. 8)


Absolutely bueatiful and great little melody befitting His Majesty.

Every crown must also have a Royal Ensign, so i propose a new forum competition where members are able to put forward their proposal for an Ensign and then we can have a poll (Referendum) to pick the winning entrant. 8)


An excellent idea Paphitis, although the term 'Ensign' is usually associated with a 'Ship' or a 'Military Rank' and therefore quite inappropriate considering the nature of our 'King'.

A 'Flag' though, YES, and may I be the first to propose a standard sized ''Green' background (representative of 'Grass') and emblazoned with the 'Winged foot of Mercury' (representative of 'Speed') and a 'Rat' hiding behind a rock in the bottom left hand corner, just a thought, needs working on but the theme seems near enough under the circumstances surrounding the knowledge we have of our newly crowned 'King' .

What d'ya reckon Cobber. :lol:
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Re: Friendly 'Banter'

Postby Schnauzer » Sun Feb 26, 2017 10:12 am

Paphitis wrote:
Schnauzer wrote:
Paphitis wrote:
Schnauzer wrote:
Paphitis wrote:We have His Majesty's crown.

Image

Pegs to be issued at the door of the sewer.


As is written :- "Uneasy lies the head that wears a 'Crown !"

Generally, one can easily agree with the implications of such a statement BUT, the particular 'Crown' depicted in your cartoon would be bound to deprive anyone of a good night's sleep, the stench of the 'Crap' would ensure a restless night for any one of us unless, under the influence of a few bottles of 'Red Biddy' the resulting stupor might be enough to counter the smell.

I still think that a customized 'Crown of Grass' would be more fitting for THIS particular 'Majesty', perhaps we might reach a compromise and mix the two ingredients.

What do you think, is it worth raising a new 'Poll' on the subject ? 8)


i think the subjects should all decide with a poll. :lol:


Meanwhile:- perhaps 'His Majesty' might raise the 'Poll' himself ?, also,it might be beneficial to him if a new 'Anthem' was composed in his honour.

In consideration of the fact that he has spent so much time (over 50 years) living among the Brits (particularly in England) and has actually become 'Anglicized' as a result of such an extensive period of residence,it might be fitting to introduce new words to the 'British National Anthem' and, with this in mind, may I propose the following two verses (subject to member's agreement of course) whilst other matters are under review ?

"God help our 'King of Crap'
can't take a decent nap
can't catch a wink,

His 'Royal Crown' of shite
keeps him awake all night
His future is not looking bright
good heavens what a stink.

His 'Red Nose' gives a clue
as to what he should do
so let us sing,

After he's read the news
bottles of cheap 'Red Booze'
might gi-ive him a chance to snooze ............(don't forget the "GI-Ive')
God help our 'King'. ............( GO-od is also helpful here)

All other suggestions quite welcome and I DO hope 'His Majesty' will be pleased with the efforts of his loyal subject. 8)


Absolutely bueatiful and great little melody befitting His Majesty.

Every crown must also have a Royal Ensign, so i propose a new forum competition where members are able to put forward their proposal for an Ensign and then we can have a poll (Referendum) to pick the winning entrant. 8)


An excellent idea Paphitis, although the term 'Ensign' is usually associated with a 'Ship' or a 'Military Rank' and therefore quite inappropriate considering the nature of our 'King'.

A 'Flag' though, YES, and may I be the first to propose a standard sized ''Green' background (representative of 'Grass') and emblazoned with the 'Winged foot of Mercury' (representative of 'Speed') and a 'Rat' hiding behind a rock in the bottom left hand corner, just a thought, needs working on but the theme seems near enough under the circumstances surrounding the knowledge we have of our newly crowned 'King' .

What d'ya reckon Cobber. :lol:
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