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What happens when wifes drag their husbands shopping

PostPosted: Wed Jul 16, 2008 5:03 pm
by psycho
This letter was recently sent by Tesco's Head Office to a customer in Oxford :

Dear Mrs. Murray,

While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty Card, The Manager of our store in Banbury is considering

banning you and your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics.

Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified by our surveillance cameras:


1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's trolleys when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to feminine products aisle.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares.. ... and watched what happened.

5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and told shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages

and a Calor gas stove.

7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him, he began to cry and asked, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, picked his nose, and ate it.

9. November 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the
antidepressants were.

10. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the ' Mission Impossible' theme.

11. December 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the 'Madonna look' using different size funnels.

12. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled 'PICK ME!' 'PICK ME!'

13. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, assumed the foetal position and screamed 'NO! NO!

It's those voices again.'

And; last, but not least:

14. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while; then yelled, very loudly, 'There is no toilet paper in here.'


Regards

Gareth Williams

Director

PostPosted: Wed Jul 16, 2008 9:35 pm
by CBBB
Your wife presumably!

PostPosted: Wed Jul 16, 2008 10:09 pm
by psycho
CBBB wrote:Your wife presumably!


No - she was testing car air conditioning units on those dates :lol: :lol:

Re: What happens when wifes drag their husbands shopping

PostPosted: Thu Jul 17, 2008 5:06 am
by Mills Chapman
psycho wrote:This letter was recently sent by Tesco's Head Office to a customer in Oxford :

Dear Mrs. Murray,

While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty Card, The Manager of our store in Banbury is considering

banning you and your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics.

Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified by our surveillance cameras:


1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's trolleys when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to feminine products aisle.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares.. ... and watched what happened.

5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and told shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages

and a Calor gas stove.

7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him, he began to cry and asked, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, picked his nose, and ate it.

9. November 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the
antidepressants were.

10. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the ' Mission Impossible' theme.

11. December 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the 'Madonna look' using different size funnels.

12. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled 'PICK ME!' 'PICK ME!'

13. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, assumed the foetal position and screamed 'NO! NO!

It's those voices again.'

And; last, but not least:

14. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while; then yelled, very loudly, 'There is no toilet paper in here.'


Regards

Gareth Williams

Director


:)

Re: What happens when wifes drag their husbands shopping

PostPosted: Thu Jul 17, 2008 10:37 am
by SSBubbles
Good 'un! :lol:

PostPosted: Thu Jul 17, 2008 10:55 am
by roseandchan
my hubby just pays and moans.

PostPosted: Thu Jul 17, 2008 10:58 am
by BC Numismatics
That joke sounds very Irish,but at least I did have a laugh.

Aidan.

PostPosted: Thu Jul 17, 2008 11:06 am
by tessintrnc
BC Numismatics wrote:That joke sounds very Irish,but at least I did have a laugh.

Aidan.



Nadia!!!! Where have you been are you all better now?

PostPosted: Thu Jul 17, 2008 11:10 am
by BC Numismatics
Tess,
You're still Taigish as ever! I hear that your idol that is the Pope of Rome is now visiting Australia.

Aidan.

PostPosted: Thu Jul 17, 2008 11:20 am
by tessintrnc
BC Numismatics wrote:Tess,
You're still Taigish as ever! I hear that your idol that is the Pope of Rome is now visiting Australia.

Aidan.



I wonder if he will pop over to NZ as well? I know you will be delighted to see him!!!

PS Give him my love :wink: