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George W. Bush Jokes

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George W. Bush Jokes

Postby Aris » Sat Sep 28, 2002 10:26 pm

George W. Bush is very depressed that people were saying he was stupid. So he calls his good friend Queen Elizabeth, who says, "Now George, what you need to do is to surround yourself with smart people. Let me show you."
She conference calls Tony Blair in and asks, "Tony, your parents had a baby. It isn't your sister and it isn't your brother. Who is it?"

Tony Blair replies, "It's me!" and hangs up.

G.W. Bush then calls Dick Cheney and says, "Dick, your parents had a baby. It isn't your sister and it isn't your brother. Who is it?"

And Cheney says, "Wow, that's a tough one. Let me get back to you."

So Cheney calls Colin Powell and says, "Colin, your parents had a baby. It isn't your sister and it isn't your brother. Who is it?"

And Colin Powell says, "It's me!"

So Cheney calls Bush and says, "It's Colin Powell."

And Bush says, "No, you idiot! It's Tony Blair!" :lol:
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Postby Aris » Sat Sep 28, 2002 10:27 pm

Bush and Powell were sitting in a bar. A guy walked in and asked the barman, "Isn't that Bush and Powell?"
The barman said, "Yep, that's them."

So the guy walked over and said, "Hello. What are you guys doing?"

Bush said, "We're planning World War III."

The guy asked, "Really? What's going to happen?"

Bush said, "Well, we're going to kill 10 million Afghans and one bicycle repairman."

The guy exclaimed, "Why are you gonna kill a bicycle repairman?!"

Bush turned to Powell and said, "See, I told you no one would worry about the 10 million Afghans!"
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Postby iskismet » Mon Sep 13, 2004 5:57 pm

If the names were changed to say Papadopoulis and other GC names, and instead of Afghans you put TCs, or conversely Denktash and GCs - would you still find this joke funny or would you find it offensive?
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Postby Piratis » Mon Sep 13, 2004 7:47 pm

The first one is very funny and it would be with any names, although it wouldn't be realistic enough if you had somebody that is actually smart instead of Bush.

The second one is kinda "black" humor. I guess thats not the kind you prefer :wink:
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Postby iskismet » Mon Sep 13, 2004 8:29 pm

Yes, it is the second one I am unhappy with. I understand what black humour is - this is not it.
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Postby city » Tue Nov 30, 2004 1:04 pm

Israeli doctor said:- "Medicine in my country is so advanced, we can take a kidney out of one person, put it in another, and have him looking for work in six weeks".

German doctor said:- "That's nothing! In Germany we can take a lung out of one person, put it in another, and have him looking for work in four weeks".

Russian doctor said:- "In my country medicine is so advanced, we can take half a heart from one person, put it in another, and have them both looking for work in two weeks".

Now the American doctor not to be outdone said:- "You guys are all way behind. In my country we have just taken an idiot out of Texas and put him in the White House and now half the country is looking for a job.
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Postby brother » Tue Nov 30, 2004 3:36 pm

Nice ones.
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Postby devil » Tue Dec 07, 2004 12:39 pm

GWB dies and approaches the Pearly Gates. As he reaches them, St Peter comes out of a small building, jangling his keys. He inquires the name of the newcomer, who says he is George W. Bush, ex-President of the US. St Peter replies, "Sorry, you can't come in here, the suppliers' entrance is round the back!".
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Postby city » Tue Dec 07, 2004 12:57 pm

Ouch! but good! :-)
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Postby serhan477 » Sat Nov 05, 2005 12:11 am

Little David was in his 5th grade class when the teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came up: fireman, policeman, salesman, etc. David was being uncharacteristically quiet and so the teacher asked him about his father.

“My father’s an exotic dancer in a gay cabaret and takes off all his clothes in front of other men. Sometimes, if the offer’s really good, he’ll go out to the alley with some guy and have sex with him for
money.”

The teacher, shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other children to work on some coloring, and took Little David aside to ask him, “Is that really true about your father?”

“No,” said David, “he works for the Bush administration, but I was too embarrassed to say that in front of the other kids.”
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