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Separation advice needed please

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Separation advice needed please

Postby StuartN » Mon Oct 15, 2007 6:29 pm

If there's any clever legal types out there on this august organ I'd be grateful for some advice please.... I've been separated from my wife in the UK for some months now (she asked me to leave) and continue to pay the mortgage and maintenance for 2 children. This is obviously a huge burden as I have living expenses in my new home aswell - do I by law have to continue to pay the mortgage on the property that she's living in? any ideas gratefully received.
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Postby CopperLine » Mon Oct 15, 2007 7:01 pm

Sorry to read this. I don't think it appropriate (or ethical) to go into any details and therefore basically I strongly advise that you speak as soon as possible to, say, a CAB (Citizens' Advice Bureau) advisor or family counsellor. You can do this anonymously in the first instance if you wish, over the 'phone if you can't visit in person if you are in Cyprus. The basic legal as well as welfare position will be outlined for you. It is entirely up to you how you respond to that information.

In UK law, unless subsequent mutually agreed re-arrangements are made between husband and wife, pre-existing financial obligations remain in place. Thus, for example, if you are sole or joint mortgage holder those liabilities will still obtain even if you are separated. Any variation from those obligations will come about either through agreed negotiation and agreement with your wife or, failing that, a court determination. You say separation not divorce and so there may be substantial differences between the two in terms of obligations and settlement.


I very strongly advise going to a the services noted above or some family mediation service (a few are free, most charge some kind of fee) because the danger is that if you don't get reliable guidance or mediation early on - whatever the circumstances between you and your wife - then the problems can become rapidly deeper and more complicated and any turn to law (either through choice or obligation) will turn out to be financially and emotionally extremely expensive.
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Postby dinos » Mon Oct 15, 2007 10:15 pm

Stuart, you need to see a lawyer. You should've hired one the second your wife asked you to leave.

Sorry for the trouble you're dealing with...

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Re: Separation advice needed please

Postby Get Real! » Mon Oct 15, 2007 10:18 pm

StuartN wrote:If there's any clever legal types out there on this august organ I'd be grateful for some advice please.... I've been separated from my wife in the UK for some months now (she asked me to leave) and continue to pay the mortgage and maintenance for 2 children. This is obviously a huge burden as I have living expenses in my new home aswell - do I by law have to continue to pay the mortgage on the property that she's living in? any ideas gratefully received.

That depends entirely on where you're currently living but you haven't bothered to tell us. I wonder why...
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Re: Separation advice needed please

Postby denizaksulu » Mon Oct 15, 2007 10:32 pm

StuartN wrote:If there's any clever legal types out there on this august organ I'd be grateful for some advice please.... I've been separated from my wife in the UK for some months now (she asked me to leave) and continue to pay the mortgage and maintenance for 2 children. This is obviously a huge burden as I have living expenses in my new home aswell - do I by law have to continue to pay the mortgage on the property that she's living in? any ideas gratefully received.



Quick answer,YES. Whilst the children are below the age of 16, you must prrovide for their upkeep. If they are in further education you must support them till they are 18. At that age during divorce proceedings you can stipulate that that the house be sold and the equity divided between you and your wife.

Long answer, Citizens advice Bureau.

Good Luck and always remember your children.

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Postby dinos » Tue Oct 16, 2007 4:26 am

Deniz, why should he have to pay the mortgage for a house he was kicked out of?

The situation needs to be dealt with legally - a proper schedule of child support would be agreed by the attorneys for each party.

For future consideration, a prenuptial agreement would prevent this confusion from happening now. Pre-nups are worth their weight in gold. Other partner won't do it? No wedding. Period.
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Postby boomerang » Tue Oct 16, 2007 4:32 am

Unfortunately Stuart you are screwed...The best is to sell the house as co-owner that wants out...She gets to keep the money and you have to pay alimony for the kids...
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Postby growuptcs » Tue Oct 16, 2007 6:03 am

Have to see a lawyer Stuart, asap.Hope all works out with you Stuart. Just make sure that when you see your kids that there is no love lost because of your wife asking for this.
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Postby allanm » Tue Oct 16, 2007 6:17 am

The answer is yes you have to support your children and keep a roof over their heads AS THEY ARE CHILDREN AND CANNOT DO IT THEMSELVES. Also it is a burden but then you chose to bring inocent children into this world and don't you think their suffering?? l mean it is one thing leaving the home but quite another leaving the country !!
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Postby denizaksulu » Tue Oct 16, 2007 7:50 am

dinos wrote:Deniz, why should he have to pay the mortgage for a house he was kicked out of?

The situation needs to be dealt with legally - a proper schedule of child support would be agreed by the attorneys for each party.

For future consideration, a prenuptial agreement would prevent this confusion from happening now. Pre-nups are worth their weight in gold. Other partner won't do it? No wedding. Period.



First I am not a lawyer. My partner went through exactly (as far as I see) the same situation. If there are underage children about, who are in the care of the mother, the father (chief earner) has to provide for their upkeep and home.
In this case its too late for a pre-nuptual. If you are a 'legal' person in the UK, I will bow to your opinion/advice. As I said, that was quick advice, I prepared him for the worse scenario, if the law has since changed (or the conditions) then its a blessing for the gentleman involved.

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