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A English/Scottish joke

We all need a good laugh.

Postby apc2010 » Wed Mar 17, 2010 10:38 pm

Statistics say 5 out of 3 jokes have speling mistakes or mathmatical errors !!!
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Postby Talisker » Mon Mar 22, 2010 11:38 pm

A commercial traveler was driving through the Scottish Highlands when his car broke down. There was a cottage near by so he went up to it and knocked on the door. The door opened to reveal a burly Highlander.

"My car has conked out," said the traveler, "Where can I spend the night?"

"Why, right here of course!" said the Scot, "Come in and avail yourself of our world famous hospitality."

The traveler duly entered the humble but cosy residence.

"Jeannie," shouted the host in the direction of the kitchen, and in response to his call his beautiful daughter appeared. "Jeannie, make a meal for the gentleman and remember to uphold our great tradition of Highland hospitality."

The traveler was soon tucking into an appetizing meal, the girl had indeed spared no effort to extend Highland hospitality to the guest.

"And now," said the Highlander, "I'm afraid I must go out and milk the cows, but just make yourself at home and take full advantage of our world famous Highland hospitality."

No sooner had the door closed behind him than the traveler set about seducing the lovely daughter. In no time at all he had had her on floor and was on the job.

Suddenly the door opened and there stood the Highlander. He took one look at what was going on and his face turned purple with rage. He dropped his two buckets of milk with a crash and gave verbal vent to his wrath.

"After all I have been saying about the Highland hospitality," he roared, "Arch your back woman, and take the poor man's balls off the cold floor."
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Postby EricSeans » Tue Mar 23, 2010 7:50 pm

Zorba wrote:
denizaksulu wrote:
fig head wrote:its wrong to say a english/scotish joke, the right way to say it is an english/scotish joke cause english starts with E ;)


:shock: :shock:

Well spotted Emma :lol: :lol: You tell 'em :lol:

Strange no-one noticed that scotish should be spelt scoTTish,with 2 Ts. Even the scotsman didn't notice.
:roll:


We know better than to pick people up over such trivialities. Otherwise we'd be at it all day. :)
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Postby EricSeans » Tue Mar 23, 2010 8:24 pm

Talisker wrote:A commercial traveler was driving through the Scottish Highlands when his car broke down. There was a cottage near by so he went up to it and knocked on the door. The door opened to reveal a burly Highlander.

"My car has conked out," said the traveler, "Where can I spend the night?"

"Why, right here of course!" said the Scot, "Come in and avail yourself of our world famous hospitality."

The traveler duly entered the humble but cosy residence.

"Jeannie," shouted the host in the direction of the kitchen, and in response to his call his beautiful daughter appeared. "Jeannie, make a meal for the gentleman and remember to uphold our great tradition of Highland hospitality."

The traveler was soon tucking into an appetizing meal, the girl had indeed spared no effort to extend Highland hospitality to the guest.

"And now," said the Highlander, "I'm afraid I must go out and milk the cows, but just make yourself at home and take full advantage of our world famous Highland hospitality."

No sooner had the door closed behind him than the traveler set about seducing the lovely daughter. In no time at all he had had her on floor and was on the job.

Suddenly the door opened and there stood the Highlander. He took one look at what was going on and his face turned purple with rage. He dropped his two buckets of milk with a crash and gave verbal vent to his wrath.

"After all I have been saying about the Highland hospitality," he roared, "Arch your back woman, and take the poor man's balls off the cold floor."


Aye, those stone flags can get rather cold... :lol:
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