Cyprus-Forum.com

[Get Real!]

Tiny anecdote by the name of Paphitis,

How’s your bum going today? Did you rub some Zivania on it?

Were you able to find a comfortable position to sleep in, last night?

Just when your bum cheeks were getting back to looking nice and rosy again… out of the blue you got a severe whooping again!

[miltiades]

Empty that bucket arsehole, it must by now be full of shit .
What a PLONKER!!

[cyprusgrump]

Empty that bucket arsehole, it must by now be full of shit .
What a PLONKER!!

Tourettes for sure CoCo...

You don't play the piano by any chance...?


An out of work pianist with Tourettes Syndrome is strolling around the streets and bars of Soho one unemployed afternoon. Walking down Dean Street he sees a lounge bar with a sign in the window 'Pianist wanted for evening performances'. 'Fucking get in there you cunt!' he says to himself and goes to the bar.

'Get the fucking manager of this pigshit middle class wankhole please you cunt', he says to a somewhat startled barman. The barman however obliges and his manager comes upstairs. 'Can I help you sir?' he says 'Yes you can you fat piece of shit, I saw your poxy advert in the cunting window and I'm here for an audition.....wanker.'

The manager is naturally put off by the man's abrasive manner but his dire need for a top class pianist forces him to agree to an audition. The first tune the Pianist plays is an uplifting jazzy number,not too involving, yet utterly melodic. At the end the thrilled barman cries, 'Wonderful, wonderful. What was that called?' 'That song, you big nosed twat, was called "Excuse me prime minister but I just jizzed in your daughter's
eye, and now the cunts blind...'

'Oh' says the manager 'err, can you play me another. Something a little less "lively". 'Wanker..' interjects the pianist before launching into a powerful ballad which leaves the manager in tears. The manager through his salty teardrops asks him the title. 'That little number was called "Sometimes when you do a bird up the shit box you get crap on your bell end.'

'I see' says the manager, 'Have you got any songs with less offensive titles?' 'Well there's my jazz number "Do you want me to split your ringpiece", or there's the epic "I don't care if you're older my dear,you've still got nice jugs". 'Look' says the manager interrupting, 'I think you're a superb pianist but the title of your songs are a little "racy". I will hire you on the condition that you do not introduce your songs or speak to the audience.' 'Fuck it' says the pianist 'Why not'.

On his first night everything is going superbly the crowd are lapping up his repertoire and his silence is being received as modesty. The only thing putting off the pianist is that in the front row there is a gorgeous blonde in a black evening dress with a split up the side revealing the tops of her stockings, and a plunging neckline which boasts a proud and inviting cleavage.

During the interval the pianist has got such a stonking hard on that he decides to go to the bog and knock one out. Just as he has shot his muck he hears himself being re-introduced over the tannoy, so he rushes back to the stage and finishes his act.

After the show he is at the bar relaxing when the blonde approaches him.'Hi' she says. 'Hello' he winces, struggling to hold in the expletives. She leans over and whispers in his ear, 'Do you know your cock is hanging out of your trousers, and spunk is dribbling onto your shoes?'

'Know it?' says the pianist putting his beer on the bar confidently, 'I fucking wrote it!!!'

[Paphitis]

Not only this but Erolz is intelligent where as you are plain ...stupid!!!
Chy-na ? My arse !! Poootin??
PUTTOS ??
What a Plonker !!

Sorry but I think there is something wrong with him.

But his talents in statistics are exceptional. I've been trying to get him to analyse some Chy-na Virus graphs.

He has temporary left because of your blatant fucking stupidities as well as your self opinionated bullshit that you keep posting. I too might take a rest since I have had enough of tbe fucking shit you post on everything, before I do however I will create a poll " Is Pa- fucktis Stupid.? Yes or No ?
What a fuc-king Plon-nker !!

geez. Even after all my politeness and generally good manners, you still want to leave.

here, a tissue for you...make sure you dispose the tissue properly as Chy-na Virus can be transmitted through your tears.

[Paphitis]

Tiny anecdote by the name of Paphitis,

How’s your bum going today? Did you rub some Zivania on it?

Were you able to find a comfortable position to sleep in, last night?

Just when your bum cheeks were getting back to looking nice and rosy again… out of the blue you got a severe whooping again!

Oh its my sides. You have me in stitches sometimes it hurts.

More about Chy-na, China Virus, Chy-nese bat Soup, and the Wu-han Institute of Virology!

[Get Real!]

Delicate little aussie sparrow by the name of Paphitis,

Did you know that China has the biggest modern navy on the planet?

They have close to 800 super-modern vessels… that’s more than the US + Britain, combined!

If the Chinese super-Armada was to head in Australia’s direction you’d all start stretching your eyes at the sides and fastening them with sticky-tape... lest they decide to land and catch you looking Caucasian!

[Paphitis]

Delicate little aussie sparrow by the name of Paphitis,

Did you know that China has the biggest modern navy on the planet?

They have close to 800 super-modern vessels… that’s more than the US + Britain, combined!

If the Chinese super-Armada was to head in Australia’s direction you’d all start stretching your eyes at the sides and fastening them with sticky-tape... lest they decide to land and catch you looking Caucasian!

Firstly, we have our own navy in Australia which is extremely capable enough to be a very big worry for the Chy-nese.

Secondly, Australia is the 51st State of the US.

Not only will the Chy-nese have to deal with the Royal Australian navy, but they will have to also deal with the japanese, and US Navy as well.

Chy-na even sneezes in Australia's general direction, then they turn to glass.

You see Australia isn't alone. Australia comes in a combo pack comprising the USA and Japan.

Thridly, we already have a multinational armada in the South China Sea which also comprises Australian Ships.

[Get Real!]

Fragile little amoeba by the name of Paphitis,

If China’s 1.5 billion population was to fart in Australia’s general direction, it is said that Ayers Rock would disintegrate, the Sydney opera house would get instantly repainted in a nice light-brown color, your rivers would look like the Ganges, your koalas and kangaroos would lose their fluff, and the sun would stop shining for like 30 days!

Such would be the fury of a Chinese storm of methane eclipsing your country…

[Paphitis]

Chy-na got a lot more to worry about before they get to Australia.

You see, we have friends, and Chy-na has North Korea.

Even Communist Vietnam is our friend. Even Indonesia. Philippines, Singapore, Taiwan, South Korea, Cambodia, Thailand, Burma, Laos and Japan. We are all UNITED in our disgust with the Chy-nese.

Go good luck with that Get Real.

You need to be educated!

[Paphitis]

Fragile little amoeba by the name of Paphitis,

If China’s 1.5 billion population was to fart in Australia’s general direction, it is said that Ayers Rock would disintegrate, the Sydney opera house would get instantly repainted in a nice light-brown color, your rivers would look like the Ganges, your koalas and kangaroos would lose their fluff, and the sun would stop shining for like 30 days!

Such would be the fury of a Chinese storm of methane eclipsing your country…

US and Australia made a big mistake in WW2.

We should have let the japanese expand their empire into China and just let them own the Chy-nese as their own serfs.

Ah the power of hindsight...

BTW, the Chy-nese population is irrelevent to us since we would never invade their country. The only plausible scenario is they try to invade ours, and once they are here, they better prepare themselves for a very slow and painful death.