Cyprus-Forum.com

[Get Real!]

Lets get back to culture. Cypriots have been living on the island for more than 10,000 years.

Oh do shut up Lordo and let me do the posting because you're putting everyone to sleep here!

Fuck your culture and pay attention to the next kinky story...

[Get Real!]

The Italian cuckolds...

Back in the land of Oz I had a very good “whoring partner” so to speak... a Greek guy, and together we’d hit the casino resorts 2-3 times a week. We both had good jobs, nice cars and made lots of money so we had no worries.

One evening at the cabaret we saw two gorgeous Italian ladies roughly 50 years old, must’ve been pretty wealthy judging by their fine outfits and handbags... and we quickly cracked onto them after we noticed they gave us a few stares.

We got on with the ladies really great, as well as on the dance-floor when at some stage we all decided to go back to the bar and get more drinks.

But as we approached the bar two men in their mid-50s approached us with a smile and the Italian ladies started to introduce them to us as their husbands!

And I’m thinking... “Oh shit, what happens now?”

The last thing I wanted was to get into a physical fight... I wouldn’t want to waste my evening in that way, and the huge bouncers weren’t very kind to brawlers as I had seen on a few occasions!

But luckily they were very friendly, ordered and paid for all the drinks and even started asking us questions… you know small-talk and all that, in a very friendly manner!

However, I noticed my still-nervous friend getting somewhat rude towards the husbands as hard as they tried to be nice, when I pulled him to the side!

“What the hell are you doing?” I said to him!

“Just cut the stupid attitude and be nice to them… they don’t seem to have a problem with us entertaining their ladies, so why do you?”

Luckily he snapped out of it and corrected his behaviour, and everyone was soon back to having a good time.

So basically they had no problems with us (we were in our early 30s) entertaining their women and they just kept disappearing to gamble on the tables in another part of the resort!

We probably met up with these two couples 5-6 times at the same resort and each time it was pretty much the same routine:

The wealthy husbands would buy everyone drinks, the ladies would each sit next to their young “boyfriend” and even cuddle, as the husbands would smile from across the other couch and then at some stage they would get up and let us know that they were off to the gambling tables!

So as the husbands were away we were basically dancing the night away and when the slow songs would come on our hands were all over the ladies and we’d even be smooching on the dance floor... concealed in the big crowd!

By the third get-together and as soon as the husbands took off to gamble, the ladies this time suggested that we’d go for a drive, and I had no qualms with that!

So after a bit of a walk in a parking lot we entered their fine Mercedes (and I remember the car door was so thick and heavy that I struggled to get it open) and they drove us to a private spot at a nearby industrial area.

Anyway, to cut a long story short... my friend and his Italian babe were in the back, and I was in the front (unfortunately) and we all started smooching and groping and all that!

So after about an hour of that we decided it was time to head back to the cabaret before the boys would come back looking for us!

And not too long after we returned the boys showed up once again and we were all back to drinking and toasting!

Oh happy times in Australia!


PS: Some of you may be wondering how this unholy arrangement ended up.

Well it ended because my friend’s girlfriend went totally stupid over him to the point where she’d call him up at work all day and they even met up during the day where they had sex multiple times, but he started getting tired of her plus her husband wasn’t happy that she had gotten emotionally involved which I suspect was their deal breaker.

[Kikapu]

There’s a similar place to Cyprus over in eastern California... they call it Death Valley, but it doesn’t get 3-4 million tourists like Cyprus... I guess they need to build a few hotels to house the lunatics!

The Cyprus summer reminds me of that Swatz-his-name movie where he’s in a glass domed world over on Mars and gets out for some reason, and starts getting cooked out in the open on the sand dunes, and his eyes start popping out!

I’ll never forget that horrid scene... that’s how I feel every summer on the island of geckos and beetles.

I have driven through Death Valley many times. Very fascinating place, especially in the summer where it gets very hot, 50+C, and when the wind blows, it like a full power hair dryer blowing in your face. It has the lowest point in the USA, “Bad Water”!

Why would someone want to drive through there?

How long a drive was it and what precautions did you take?

You know if you get stuck there you’re dead!

You’re a higher risk taker than I had you down for...

I would take road trips to Las Vegas from San Francisco via Death Valley, with an overnight stay at Mammoth Lakes (8,000+ft) during summer months driving over the Yosemite Parks’ Tioga Pass at 10,000ft, dropping to Mono Lake. Beautiful scenery. Death Valley drive through would take about 4-5 hours with lunch at Furnace Creek. There is one main Park Ranger station and Visiters Center and a petrol station at Furnace Creek too. One needs to drive over couple of passes at 4,000-5,000 feet. Amazing landscapes at different locations in Death Valley. US Air Force jets often practice there too with low passes across the valley floor. Just need to make sure you have plenty of water, fuel and a working air conditioning. If a break down, stay with the car and don’t wander off for God sake. There are Air and Road patrols by the Park Rangers to bring help if stranded. Just stay with the car.

I have taken far bigger risks in life than driving through Death Valley in hot summers!

Did a very similar trip back in 2014. Had a boot full of water, just in case

I recall arriving at Marathon lakes to hear Robin Williams had died that day. Very sad.

Last time I went through Death Valley was in June 2018 with my two 21 year (twins) nephews from Las Vegas to Mammoth Lakes. It was part of a Grand Tour of the Southwest in 10 days, Las Vegas-Las Vegas! Always enjoyed driving through DV.

[Get Real!]

The wheelies…

Another night at the cabaret and another adventure! This time my Greek friend was exchanging glances with a girl in a wheelchair!

But there were actually two ladies in wheelchairs... the dark haired Italian-Australian that my friend had the hots for, and her friend the blond Australian that I kinda liked.

They both looked stunning (lovely thighs and titties) and I couldn’t help but wonder what the hell they were doing in wheelchairs when they looked so glamorous and healthy to me!

Having never had any experience with ladies in wheelchairs I was at a complete loss as to how to approach this delicate situation.

But luckily on that particular evening it was my friend who unusually broke the ice as he suddenly walked over, squatted down and started chatting her up!

He didn’t even tell me of his intentions before making the move which was a violation of our “protocols”, but I figured their exchanges must’ve been so intense that he had forgotten I was even there!

A couple of minutes later I thought I might as well go over and entertain the other one; much to her delight, and I just did what he did... squatted on the other side of the blond’s wheelchair and chatted her up!

Once we got to know each other I did ask why she was in a wheelchair and she explained that it was a neurological problem which was getting worse unfortunately, and that she could only stand and walk for about a few meters.

Her story almost got me down but I had to quickly compose and remind myself that despite her suffering she was still a woman that had come out to get away from her troubles and have fun, and that she wanted a man just as much as an able-bodied woman... and I felt my “job” was to deliver!

Meanwhile, my friend and his girl got along really well and in no time he wheeled her out of the cabaret and they were gone for over an hour!

It was only the next day that he divulged that he wheeled her all the way to his car, picked her up and placed her in the back seat and they somehow made out, as her wheelchair was abandoned outside the car!

And I just had to ask... “And what if you were to step out the car and find the wheelchair gone?”

“Dunno... I guess I’d take her back home or something!” he replied!

He was funny, I must say! Easy come and easy go... the exact opposite of me who had an engineering mind and the tendency to always over-complicate things!

You see, I couldn’t wrap my head around how to go about separating the mechanical part from the biological part of this woman, to take things further!

My engineering brain had let me down while my simpler-minded friend found all the easy solutions to this rather unusual situation.

We met up with the wheelie girls quite a few times but as much as I liked her I was never able to get past the odd kiss and peck as I struggled to maneuver my way around that horrible mechanical chair.

I know that in the end I let her down... but she wasn’t helping either!

[Kikapu]

Nice stories, GR.

I had a friend in San Francisco where he would say to me, “sometimes we need to be charitable to those not so lucky”’ in other words, we need to boink some ladies from time to time who are least attention getters from the guys!

[Get Real!]

Nice stories, GR.

I had a friend in San Francisco where he would say to me, “sometimes we need to be charitable to those not so lucky”’ in other words, we need to boink some ladies from time to time who are least attention getters from the guys!

True, but in their defence they were doing us a favour... they were gorgeous!

[Get Real!]

The threesome…

Another fine evening and we had just arrived at the cabaret, and were by now looking around in a strategic reconnaissance to understand the evening’s environment.

When all of a sudden a short voluptuous girl cut right through our middle brushing against us both, as if to head to the bar when I grabbed her by the arm and swung her right back towards us!

“If you’re gonna cut though us you’ll have to introduce yourself first!” ...I demanded!

She wasn’t fooling me... she could’ve passed on either side of us unhindered, but chose to disturb us for attention!

She had big bright eyes and a naughty smile as she introduced herself, and I could sense she was a seasoned player.

There was no time wasting here... we got into a three-way kinky talk from the onset with this gal!

So as she placed a palm on each of our chests and rubbed up and down a bit as if to evaluate our physiques, my Greek friend thought it was the right time to ask whom she preferred!

“Oh I don’t know... you’re both so nice!” She complimented!

And that’s when I had to intervene and correct my shortsighted Greek friend because I understood the dynamics here while he didn’t!

“Oh don’t be so cruel!” I reprimanded him! “Why force her to choose when she can have us both?”

I offered the perfect solution as I felt I read her mind, and she giggled at the suggestion and got apologetic that she hadn’t done that before but was willing to try!

“Yeah right!” I was thinking!

A 20 minute drive later we were over at her place; a big house she shared with a couple of other females that had also gone out for the evening and as it was early we were alone.

By now however everyone had gone a little cold and the momentum was rather lost because a 20 minute drive is what it is... so she headed for the kitchen and produced a bong!

“No, I’m fine thanks!” I replied... “Same here!” said my friend, so she smoked by herself for a couple of minutes as we assured her that everything was gonna be OK, and once she was done she led us to her rather large bedroom.

And this is as far as I can take this story!

But I can tell you the funny part at the end of it all before we went our separate ways... apparently she was the manager of a popular fast food chain restaurant and she gave us coupons to free meals!

Isn’t that crazy?

[Get Real!]

The Godfather…

It was early morning hours and the evening hadn’t produced anything worthwhile and we had started to taste the bitter disappointment as the crowd was thinning out and we had like 10 minutes to scram before the lights would come on.

But over at one of the bars came and stood this tall absolutely-stunning girl in a tight mini white dress that looked somewhat traumatised!

She came in very late, her arms were folded, she kinda looked downward and her mind seemed preoccupied, so never the ones to miss an opportunity me and my two mates went over to investigate!

I introduced myself as a “Tony” and got her to open up when she explained how her bikie boyfriend had abused her while drinking, and she had run off and was now thinking of leaving him, and that she didn’t want to go back home tonight, etc.

She was very beautiful and very tall (taller than me in her high heels), but didn’t have much upstairs as we soon discovered!

Once she mentioned her boyfriend’s name I pretended to know him and gave her the rough description of a typical bikie gang member, at which point she looked astonished and goes...

“You know him?” (I did mention she was as thick as a brick!)

“Sure, that piece of shit works for us!” I explained!

“Really???” ..by now she was gobsmacked!

“Yup! Alright... here’s what we’re gonna do...” I set about laying down the rules!

At this stage I gotta fill you in on some missing detail so you can understand how we pulled this one off!

For starters, we were always dressed in good quality suits and we all had a wad of cash on us because we were career people.

Both my Greek friend and the other Italian friend that were with me that evening, could’ve easily had roles in mafia movies... that’s how they looked!

My Greek friend even had brill cream on his hair and was well built so he took on the role of my bodyguard and did a damn good job of it, while the other guy with his mobile phone (this was mid 90s) kinda played the lookout cum communicator, for the make-believe crime family we had quickly formulated!

We had all watched Scarface like a dozen times already, and we even knew some of the lines by heart... so I turned towards the Italian and gave him “instructions”!

“Find this son of a bitch right NOW and teach him some manners! I don’t care if he’s sleeping, I don’t care what the hell he’s doing… just pull him out the bed if you have to, and drag him out on the street!”

And he walked off a few paces from us and pretended that he was on the phone making arrangements!

And that’s when she got really scared and goes...

“Oh no... pleased don’t hurt him… he’s usually OK! It’s only when he’s drinking...”

And I quickly interrupted...

“Nah, don’t worry babe we’re just gonna roughen him up a little, to teach him some much needed manners!”

And I just kept going as the scotch had laid out the script perfectly for me...

“I told those pieces of shit many times... whatever you do just don’t hurt the girls but some of them don’t listen!”

And from time to time one of the lads would throw in a... “Yes boss, you did boss!”

The whole thing was like a scene out of a Godfather movie and by now the girl was warming up to the idea that she had miraculously run into the crime family boss, her now “ex-boyfriend” was getting some payback, and that she was soon moving into the “mansion”!

And boy did I just keep on going...

“Sometime tomorrow we’re gonna get your stuff and you’re moving outta there!”

“This piece of shit obviously doesn’t appreciate you, so from now on you’re MY woman... you're staying with me!”

And suddenly she worryingly goes...

“Yes, but I want to be your number one!” <---

(upon hearing this, words can’t describe how the three of us came close to bursting out laughing... it’s a miracle we kept our composure!)

“Well, we’re gonna have to sort that one out in due course, babe!” I quickly explained.

So I lifted my elbow which she instantly wrapped her arm around as if to assume her new role as the “Don’s” new girlfriend, and we all walked out the cabaret where the lights had by now come on because it was closing time.

And off we went to another bar of the resort with each of my “bodyguards” on either side as we strutted to a nice circular couch for a rest and a drink.

And as she sat on that couch and crossed those long legs words can’t describe the spectacle... it would be fair to say that everyone’s jaw dropped! That’s how fine she was!

And that’s when I pulled out my “fat” wallet and even though I had lots of change in there, I intentionally handed the Greek guy a $100 bill so he could get a round of drinks for everyone, as she took a good look at my wad of $100 bills!

By now it was mission accomplished, she was all mine for the taking and all I had to do was figure out where to take her so I could devour that luscious body!

On the one hand I was very happy to have pulled this one off and on the other I knew I had dug myself into a bit of a hole... for a “Don” couldn’t possibly be living in a middle class apartment so I couldn’t take her back home!

Oh no... I needed something more grandiose than that, and what better than a room at the resort’s fancy hotel right there?

So after forking out a few hundred dollars at the reception, we took the all-glass lift upstairs where I finally enjoyed my well-earned prize in a fancy hotel room!

Some could argue that I could’ve just as well hired an escort for what this ended up costing me, but you just can’t beat the feeling of having sex with a gorgeous woman who thinks you’re a Don and has to serve you like a pasha!

[Get Real!]

A hunk called Miguel...

My Greek friend lured a lot of women in his days for he had a rather imposing physique and on one occasion as soon as we entered a club a dark African lady in her late 40s rushed straight at him, started fondling his chest area and was literally begging to make out with him!

As much as he enjoyed attention from females this one was rather tricky because not only was the lady unattractive but by now numerous heads had turned; many of them females, and were gawking at the commotion!

And all of a sudden he whispered something into the lady’s ear which instantly made her calm down, compose herself and go take a seat at the nearby bar like a good little girl!

And I’m thinking... “What the hell did he say to her?”

But anyway, he took off and as I tried to keep up with him and not knowing where he was heading, he disappeared into the crowd!

So I thought to myself he’s probably gone to the toilet... so I just got myself a drink, blended in with the crowd and started checking out the females in the vicinity.

Some 15 minutes later he was still gone and I noticed the African lady was getting agitated at the bar while staring into the crowd!

So I thought, maybe I should just give him a call... and soon enough he answered!

“Dude, where the hell are you?” I asked, and in a shaken voice he goes...

“Oh man, I had to leave the club mate... so I came to the PostOffice!” (another club nearby)

“Wait, what did you tell the African woman?”

“Oh... that I was going to the loo, and that I’d be right back to spend the night with her!”

Oh shit... oh shit!

And as I was hanging up the phone the African lady noticed me, came right into my face, grabbed me by the biceps and yelled...

“WHERE’S MIGUEL?”

“Huh? Who the fuck is Miguel?” I asked!

“Your friend!!! Miguel!!!”

And I’m trying to make some sense out of it...

“Oh... THAT Miguel! Err, he’s gotta be around here somewhere!”

“Here, let me go find him for you! Just take a seat and I’ll be right back with him!”

And as she turned to go back to her seat I took off for the PostOffice!



Trivia: Rumor has it that there’s an 80 year old African lady still roaming the streets at night and calling out to a Miguel! <--- OK, I made that up!

[Get Real!]

A fool and his money...

This story happened in Cyprus circa 1980 when we were just 15 or 16.

A friend and I went to our favourite disco but it wasn’t a busy night... there were just two lovely girls sitting across a couch-table and around 25 males gawking at them!

So we took our positions at a bar and looked around a bit when a few minutes later one brave guy went over, said something to the girls, got rejected and then had to do the walk of shame!

Five minutes later another guy had the same fate... and then another... and another!

It was a terrible sight! It was a slaughterhouse... too many walks of shame, and I couldn’t help but wonder what it would take to get those girls on the dance-floor!

So I turned to my friend and suggested that he go next, just to see his reaction and he goes...

“Nah, they’re stuck up bitches!”

And I replied... “I don’t think so, you just gotta be good!”

And he goes... “Oh yeah? So why don’t you go over and show us then?”

Always the kind of lad who enjoyed a bit of fun, I had already concocted a plan... for I always had a secret weapon that often gave me the edge over my friends... my WIT!

So I challenged him...

“Here’s the deal, I’m going over and I’m gonna get them BOTH to dance with me, not just the one! How’s that for a challenge... surely it’s gotta be worth something, how about 4 pounds?”

“Ha! You’ll make a total fool of yourself and I’ll be right here to enjoy it!” He confidently boasted!

“And if I win, are you prepared to pay the 4 pounds?” I asked.

“Sure, that means two free drinks for me... you’re on!” He said.

We shook hands, and I walked over to the girls... but I did things differently!

Completely uninvited I sat right next to one of them and leaned my head towards them both and said:

“Don’t look now... but do you see that idiot in the beige jacket leaning over there at the bar looking this way?”

They gradually turned their heads and back and said... “Yeah?” with a smile, as if they knew something funny was coming up!

And I further explained...

“Well, he and I just had a bet... that if I dance with you both he’s buying you drinks!”

And the girls just burst out laughing!

“So, are you ready to earn those free drinks?” I asked...

“Yup!” they said, so I stood up stretched out my hands towards them and took them to the dance floor where we formed a tiny circle and slow danced for like 3-4 minutes!

Meanwhile, the guys at the disco who had been watching my move were all gobsmacked!

My friend... even worse! Four pounds was a lot of money for a 15 year old back then!

Once we were done I thanked the girls and assured them that their drinks were on their way, so I went over to the bar placed their order, and got my friend to pay!

As hard as he begged I never revealed my trick and he was forever left wondering how I pulled it off!

And thus marked the end of another memorable nightlife adventure... one of my first!